prayers from a mommy's heart

Train Wreck

2011-09-16T06:10:00.000-07:00

I promise to write more of Anderson's story soon! I wasn't trying to create a cliff hanger, I honestly just didn't want anyone to get bored reading the whole story in one sitting :)

I have not written any more this week, however, because my house is a train wreck.

Literally...

A TRAIN WRECK!

and since I have a personal rule that blogging will never take away from my time playing with these guys, I have been busy.

More of Anderson's story coming soon.

Until then, please continue to read my dad's blog and keep praying for our family!

Anderson's Story

2011-09-12T17:42:00.000-07:00

Oh, there is so much to tell about our precious baby, Anderson. I don't know where to start with this little one's story... Perhaps I need to just start at the very beginning.

It was almost a year ago today... I had just recently finished my comprehensive exams in Dallas, Texas, for my PhD work; and I was in a great mood. I was done studying. I was done writing (for the moment). James, Austin, and I had enjoyed the summer together and a new school year was fresh underway. I was teaching PreK across the hallway from Austin's class, and James was really enjoying his new career.

I thought that something might be different, however, so...

I took a pregnancy test and it confirmed right away what I already thought in my heart.

We were going to have a baby!

... and I will be honest, in those moments, I was completely overwhelmed.

We had been praying for several dear friends who were battling infertility. James and I were in the process of rebuilding our own marriage. We no longer owned a home. I was just about to start the dissertation phase of a PhD. My sister-in-law had just discovered that she was pregnant (and I didn't want to steal any attention away from that news).

I will never forget telling Austin that I needed a few minutes of quiet time and allowing him to watch a movie in the living room. I slowly walked to the master bedroom and shut the door. I sat up on our bed and immediately began to pray. "Lord, are you sure? Is this your plan? How am I going to tell James? What is James going to say?"

And over and over again in my mind, I could only hear one verse, "I will restore what the locusts have eaten."

"Lord, will you work all of this out?"

"I will restore what the locusts have eaten."

"God, will you prepare James' heart for this news."

"I will restore what the locusts have eaten."

No matter how many questions I asked or how fervently I prayed, this one Bible verse kept replaying over and over in my mind. It is from Joel 2:25. It says, "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten."

Here is how another blogger describes locusts: "A few years ago, I watched a TV program on wild locusts and the way they destroyed everything that stood in their path. With devastating effect, they descended upon a field of corn. Within half an hour the swarm wiped out the entire field of corn, leaving nothing but a vast wasteland."

and another writer says, "Locusts! Have you seen what they can do? They can literally decimate a crop in minutes. Rendering whole villages , farmers and their families without food or income. Can you imagine the pain and stress that having your livelihood taken away like that brings? Having your crops destroyed may create a struggle for your very survival."

I can relate. For those that don't know our story, James and I have faced our share of locusts in recent years. Locusts that left us without jobs, without income, without a home, and hanging on by only strands at what was left of our marriage. My dad continues to battle a terminal illness and everything that I had counted on for security was gone. I was in a struggle for my very survival...

The locusts had eaten. They had ravaged. They had destroyed.

And then we found out about Anderson.

To be continued...

Five Months!

2011-09-10T07:13:00.001-07:00

I wasn't planning to take a five month leave of absence from my blog, but it was a much needed break. We have been busy. Each day of the past five months deserves a blog post all in itself, but I need to start living again in today, so I will just do a quick picture summary of some of the key events from the past five months.

As each day passed, I continued to get bigger and bigger with pregnancy!

and so did my sister-in-law, Sharon.

We spent as much time as possible in Clearwater with my dad - who is still fighting his battle with multiple myeloma.

I kept teaching with some of my favorite people at Sonshine Day Preschool

And as a family we tried to visit Disney as much as possible before our summer black out dates set in.

Austin and I participated in the Spring program at school

And Austin turned Five Years Old! (His cousin, Andrew, turned six)

My nephew, Riley was born, and mom and dad went from four grandchildren to five!

I received the package of a lifetime from my dear friend, Amber... and finally felt prepared for the arrival of our new son!

We celebrated Easter

and decided that since life wasn't busy enough we might as well buy a new home.

And then, ON MAY 20, 2011, we gave birth to our son, ANDERSON!!!

And from their first meeting, Austin and Anderson have been the best brothers!

Austin graduated from PreK

And we celebrated as a new family of four (Anderson two weeks old!)

At Anderson's two week appointment, we discovered that his newborn screen showed he carried at least one recessive gene for cystic fibrosis.

So, as we celebrated life, we also entered the world of constant doctors appointments and genetic testing.

Anderson continued to grow and gain weight (for which we were all so thankful)

I had some precious visits from some of my oldest and dearest friends

And with the help of our church family, we moved into our new home! I couldn't have done it without them.

We enjoyed the final days of summer before school started again...

Austin started Kindergarten and I was offered a new job...

and we finally received the news of Anderson's dna testing.

But those are all stories for tomorrow...

Hello again, Blogger. It is good to be back.

What does it feel like to die?

2011-04-14T13:08:00.000-07:00

As Austin and I drove home from school today, I asked him about his day. We talked briefly about his friends, the playground, the sand in his shoes, and the spring program scheduled for this evening.

After some quiet moments, Austin asked me a question. "Mom." He said, "What does it feel like to die?"

I paused.

We talk openly about life with Austin. We talk openly about death. We pray nightly for his grandpa who is fighting a very difficult journey with multiple myeloma. I want Austin to always feel comfortable asking us about anything, so I answered as honestly as I could.

"What does it feel like to die?"

"I don't know, Austin." I began. "I don't know what it feels like to die... I think that it probably hurts for just a second and then you don't feel any more pain. I believe in heaven, Austin. So, even if death hurts for just a moment, you will never feel pain again and you will be so happy."

Austin sat quietly in the backseat for a long time.

I wondered if I had said too much.

I wondered if I should have eliminated the word pain from my explanation.

I wondered why he was asking me about death.

"Mom, I don't think death is like that." He began slowly.

"I think that death is more like jumping off a diving board...

You are so scared...

and you don't want to do it...

but once it's over, then you are just so happy,

and you realize that you had nothing to be scared of in the first place."

and then we both just rode in silence.

"What do you think, mom?" Austin asked.

"Do you think that's what it feels like to die?"

I don't know sweet boy, but I do know what it feels like to receive the wisdom of God through my four-year-old son...

to LIVE...

2011-02-07T15:01:00.000-08:00

In January, many of my friends (and fellow bloggers) chose a word to live by in 2011.
A single word.
A word that they wanted to strive for, to uphold, to motivate them throughout the upcoming year.
I never wrote about it, but I chose a word as well: LIVE.

I want to LIVE in 2011. As my dad's illness continues to progress, I struggle with the realization that life is truly but a breath. I don't want to take a single moment for granted and I want to enjoy life. I want to live in 2011.

As a new life grows inside of me during this time, I realize that I am surrounded by newness in this life. New restoration in my marriage. New hope for the days to come. New life.

And for a girl like myself, a rule follower to every degree... living can become the challenge. I have lived my first 33 years trying to make sure that everything was done correctly. Always earning the A in the class. Always considering the ramifications of my actions. Always trying to follow the rules... in the hopes that life would be fair in return. Within the rule follower, I have discovered that there is the unspoken thought, "If I play by the rules, then life will be safe. If I obey, then I will not get hurt."

I have played by the rules, and life has not been safe. Life has been scary - actually horrifying at moments. I played by the rules, and I have still faced infidelity, loss of income, loss of home, and dad's horrible illness. Yet, I have also found that playing by the rules prepared me, discipled me, convicted me during every terrifying moment. So, my goal is not to stop playing by the rules. My dream is to LIVE life to the full within those very rules. Within the context of striving to be sanctified (to be a Godly woman) is it possible to just sit back and enjoy every moment... not fearing what tomorrow may bring?

And so, I haven't written a lot since January. I haven't written, but oh, how I have been living. Soaking in a warm bed on a Saturday morning, traveling with dear friends for a weekend of skiing, laying still with my hands on my belly and enjoying every kick from our growing baby. Laughing out loud at my four-year-old's jokes. Enjoying every second of James and Austin wrestling together at night. Praising God for the coziness of our tiny apartment. Trying to take any moment to visit my parents out of town and enjoying them while I am there. Eating a huge piece of dad's birthday cake because I am just so thankful for the celebration of his 60 years. Dressing like a pirate because that is just the thing to do when you are a four year old boy... living my life.

For He (Jesus) came that I would have LIFE and LIVE it to the full.

And so I look for the balance in 2011... but mostly importantly, I have made my choice: to live.

Just some of the living that we have been doing lately:

I am so in love with this man!

The whole family just sitting and laughing and enjoying Dad's 60th birthday!

Eating cake!

Going to pirate birthday parties!

It's a...

2011-01-04T17:34:00.000-08:00

Boy!!!!

Today was our 20 week ob appointment, and we found out that we are having another boy! We are beyond thrilled (although I might have secretly had hopes for hair bows and smocked dresses). Once we heard the news, however (and saw that precious baby on the screen), there was absolutely no disappointment. A BOY! A BROTHER FOR AUSTIN!

After my appointment, I went back to school to pick up Austin and tell him our good news. "Austin," I said. "Mommy just had a doctor's appointment, and we saw your baby on a computer screen. Guess what? It is a BOY!"

Austin just stared at me. "Mom," he finally said. "I told you all along that it was going to be a boy." He was so determined... so insistent this entire time that he was going to have a little brother. I am actually glad that it is a boy because I don't think he would have believed anything else.

On the way home, he called his Granny to tell her that he was going to have a brother. After their brief conversation, he started to tell me all the things he wanted to teach his little brother. "I will teach him how to fly a kite. I will teach him how to play Mario Kart on the Wii..." Finally, Austin looked up at me and said. "Mom, you teach him how to walk and talk and I'll teach him the rest. How does that sound?"

That sounds just about right, sweet boy. Just about right.

Now that my mind is officially switched to blue, I am researching cribbing, nursery ideas, and names for our precious little boy. Some of you may or may not know that when we told Austin we were expecting (in September!) he told us that it was going to be a boy and we were supposed to name him Ryan. (Ryan is his best friend at school). He might have been right about the gender, but the verdict is still out about the name!

I have so many thoughts about having another son! I love my relationship with Austin and love the way that he loves his mommy. Just tonight at dinner Austin asked me what I wanted for my next birthday. (My birthday isn't until November!)

"Just hugs and kisses from you!" I told my pre-birthday planning son.

"Oh, mom. Those you can have any day for free. I am going to give you a huge bouquet of flowers and definitely a new sewing machine."

I have no idea why I am getting a new sewing machine, but he is determined...

and he is normally right.

Enjoying Every Moment

2011-01-02T15:50:00.000-08:00

On New Year's Eve, we woke up late and then went over to the Q's house to meet up with James' family. We had decided to spend our day shopping, and it was soon determined that we would head to Micanopy for lunch and antiques.

Micanopy is a quiet little town known for its antique shopping and its debut in the movie "Doc Hollywood."

Our little family spent more time taking pictures than shopping, but I had a wonderful day with my boys (and in-laws)!

We had the best time just swinging our feet, soaking in the sunshine, and enjoying the days together before we all head back to work.

He Makes All Things New!

2011-01-01T07:50:00.000-08:00

A New Year! Whoo Hooo!!! I am just a little bit excited about saying goodbye to 2010 and hello to a brand new year. I love a fresh start, a clean page, a new beginning. 2010 was quite a year for our family. Once again, I am thankful that I didn’t know everything that would happen and I am so thankful that God’s mercies are new every morning.

I just started to write a review of 2010 and all that happened from January – December… but then I decided that I am just ready to start new… to focus on the things that are to come…

So, 2011, we are so thankful that you are here.

I am still working on my list of resolutions. I LOVE resolutions. I love lists. I love goals. I hope that you will see some evidence of the fulfillment of my resolutions as I blog more faithfully in 2011! I want Austin to have a recorded history of his life, and this is the reason I started blogging. I want him to know what our life was like as a small child.

So... here's to new goals, new blogging, a new BABY, new ideas, and new dreams. Welcome 2011!

Merry Christmas!!!

2010-12-24T06:12:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas from our family!

Love,

James, Emily, Austin, and Baby Q

Thanksgiving

2010-11-28T17:00:00.001-08:00

This is my family!

This picture was taken yesterday on my 33rd birthday, and I think that it is my new favorite family picture! It is low key... it is sincere...James' starbucks is sitting on the side. We are taking things easy right now and just enjoying the simplest pleasures in life.

I am craving the simplicity. I want to just sit and put my feet up rather than wait in the crowds that surround me. (If you look in the background, you will notice a line gathering for our local craft fair). I decided not to stand in line this year - but just went and sat on the wall watching others file in. I figured that the craft fair would still be happening by the time I got off the bench! (I must admit that I also needed to sit after spending two days in bed from a vicious stomach bug).

I woke up on Thanksgiving morning (early at 3 am!) with a stomach virus. I can honestly tell you that I remember very little about Thanksgiving day other than my sister occasionally walking into the bedroom to check on me. We had planned a quiet sibling dinner this year. Mom and Dad are still in Minnesota for dad's new treatment, but Jenny and I wanted to still have mom's traditional dinner. We stayed at mom and dad's house, used her recipes, and planned for a little meal...

Then, our dear friends donated a 25 pound turkey to our family... and our small meal for four became a massive feast of turkey. Fortunately, James stepped up for turkey detail and from what I hear, it was a delicious bird.

Thank you to Jenny, David, and James for not only watching all the kids, but also fixing all the meal. My favorite part of the day, however, had to be waking up in bed in the middle of the afternoon to the sounds of splashing and delight coming from the backyard.

Later when Jenny came into the room, I asked, "Did the boys go swimming today????"

"Oh, yes!"

There is absolutely nothing better than Thanksgiving in Florida- even if you are stuck in bed :)

My boy...

2010-11-08T15:04:00.001-08:00

Not much to report... but I wanted to at least post a picture.

This is my boy. We were at a birthday party for a friend last weekend and I caught this picture of Austin while he was waiting his turn to hit the pinata. We are really enjoying each other these days. Four is such a wonderful age.

Andrew (my nephew) is doing great after his brain surgery. He has had some mild headaches, but he is already back to school! We are so thankful for his recovery! Thank you so much for all of your prayers.

My mom and dad are in Minnesota this week for their initial consultation at Mayo clinic. They are meeting with the "leading expert" in the field of dad's disease and we are praying for some new treatment options. Mom and Dad met with the doctor today and seemed hopeful about his thoughts. They will have a follow up meeting on Thursday morning to review lab work and discuss a new "plan of action."

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support. We will keep you posted!

My sweet Avery Grace!

2010-10-30T17:23:00.000-07:00

I need longer weekends! My blog posts are inversely related to the number of hours that I work!!! Last year, when I took some time off from teaching, I blogged almost every day. Right now, I am doing well if I blog every three weeks! I couldn't wait three weeks for this post, however, because I am already two days late in posting a special wish to my beautiful one year old niece, Avery!

It is so important to me that my nieces and nephew(s?) know how much I love them - and LOVE being their aunt! One way for me to set apart a special time for them is to at least post a very special message on their birthdays!

So, here is my blog post for October 28th... HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY, SWEET AVERY!

Avery is our miracle girl in so many ways! My brother and sister-in-law had dreamed and prayed for a child - and we were given the gift of Avery. Avery is both strong willed and sweet tempered. She has the most beautiful smile, and I love the way she already loves to read books. We are going to be the best of friends :)

Avery,

A year ago, I stood in the lobby of a hospital waiting for the news of your arrival! We waited and waited and waited... it seemed like you were taking forever to come :) Perhaps we were all just anxious in the waiting room. I took Austin into the hospital gift shop to find a present for his new cousin, and my mom came running into the store. "She's here!" My mom yelled holding up her cell phone! "She's here!"

We found out shortly after that call that you were on your way to the hospital nursery. Every family member waiting in the hospital lobby crammed into an elevator at that moment to see you! We rode up to the nursery floor to stare at you through the window. Your daddy was standing on one side of the glass, and we all admired you from the other side! I held up Austin so he could see his brand new cousin. What I remember most was your beautiful black hair! So much hair!!! You were stunning; even as a newborn.

You are still stunning today. You have the most beautiful fair complexion with black hair and blue eyes. You have a smile that goes from ear to ear and you love to laugh. We love to ask you to "clap" or say "touchdown" and we all love to hold you!

I am so thankful for living so close and getting to spend so much time with you! You are so precious!!

Love,

Aunt Emmy

Happy First Birthday!

2010-10-23T06:38:00.000-07:00

I am here! More than anything else, I want my blog to be a place of remembrance for Austin. I want AJ to be able to look back on my writings some day and know more about his life during these early years. Someday, he is going to look and say, "Mom, what happened between September 24 and October 23 in 2010? You didn't write a single thing! I am going to say... "AJ, we were just so busy living life!"

With that said, I have so many pictures and stories from the past month that I will try to update in the upcoming days. Today, however, is time to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Yesterday, October 22, was my niece Megan's first birthday! Happy Birthday, Megan. I love you so much and I LOVE being your aunt.

It is hard to believe that one year ago I was working at my dad's office keeping up with my sister's progress through text messages with my mom. Dad had a morning mediation that day and I couldn't wait for everyone to leave the office so I could get to the hospital! As soon as the office was clear, I jumped in my car and drove to the hospital.

"She's pushing!" Mom told me on the phone.

"I'm on my way!" I shouted back. "I'm coming."

Just as I got off the hospital elevator mom called me and I could hear Megan crying in the background. "She's here!"

I went straight to the room and held my niece for the first time when she was only minutes old.

A few days later, I went to Jenny's to hold Megan and I asked Jenny if we could just play dress up. I just dressed her in all her girl clothes! I have enjoyed dressing her every chance I can get since that first day!

Megan, you have changed so much over the last year, and our love for you has only grown. We love you, sweet girl!

Daddy is Home!

2010-09-23T16:52:00.001-07:00

Oh my goodness gracious... someone forgot to remind me that teaching makes one's life FULL!

...and I am sure that someone mentioned along the way that having a four-year-old would be wonderful and exhausting all at the same time. But, I must have forgotten.

My lack of blogging has not been due to anything other than just trying to keep up... with lesson plans, four-year-old play dates, and laundry!

James just arrived back in town from a week-long conference. I am pleased to announce that Austin and I did great --- although I will be the first to admit that the house looked horrible (aka toys everywhere!) and we both went to bed at 8:00 pm every night exhausted :) We are so glad that James is home.

You may not know that between the two of us, James is the neat one. I call myself "the creative one." Sometimes learning can just only take place in a messy environment! James surprised us this afternoon by coming home early. I was at the grocery store when he called, and I knew from the tone in his voice that he was home.

"Hey! Where are you?" He asked.

"At the grocery store. (long pause). Why? Are you home?"

"Almost!" He replied.

"Whoooo Hooooo!! I will hurry and finish my shopping and head home."

Only a few seconds later after we hung up, I realized that I needed to call him back.

"um..." I hesitated when he answered his phone again. "If you happen to make it home before me, just remember that I didn't expect you home today and the house isn't quite picked up yet!"

He laughed.

And he knew. When he walked in to see the huge marble tunnels that Austin and I had created in the living room. When he saw the stack of children's books sitting on the kitchen table. Stepping over transformers and matchbox cars all the way to the back of our home, he knew. He knew that we had a wonderful time while he was gone, but we sure are glad that Daddy is home!

Oh, there are so many ways to read into that sentence. We are so glad that Daddy is home!

2010-09-11T19:57:00.000-07:00

enjoying every moment of the weekend.

2010-09-08T18:30:00.000-07:00

Austin...

our ever cautious, very ar-ti-cu-late (he pronounces every syllable!) child has entered a new phase...

one I expected a little earlier in life (say, when he was a two-year-old)...

but it is happening now

he is pushing against the boundaries

pushing hard

exploring the world with a little less caution

and finding himself at the receiving end of a little more discipline

fighting bedtime routine

fighting morning routine

not always telling the truth (oh, help me!!!)

trying to find out what will happen when he pours his entire glass of milk into our water purifier

and spills half of the milk across the living room rug

but, he is my Austin...

and my heart smiles that instead of crying over spilt milk tonight

he just called out

"Mom, stay right where you are. Do not come in the living room!!!"

and when I walked in and gasped at the mess

he just said,

"Mom, I warned you. I knew you wouldn't want to see this."

And as I collapse into bed at the end of this day being "mom"

I realize that I have the most difficult job assignment...

praying over

and shepherding this precious boy's heart

helping him become all that God intended for him to be

for in the midst of all the pushing he seems to be doing lately

he is my absolute delight and joy

2010-09-07T17:47:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago, we were asked by a dear friend if we wanted to "rent out" her timeshare for Labor Day weekend. With my comps ever pressing at that time, James and I figured that a vacation away would be perfect at just about Labor Day time... so we agreed to the nominal fee and made plans to get away for a vacation!

As you now know, on Sunday (of last week) Austin woke up with a high fever. He had to miss his entire second week of school due to what we think might have been hand, foot, and mouth disease!

On Monday, my dad received bad news about his cancer treatments and their failure to fix his "nasty diseases."

On Thursday, we received more bad news that my nephew, Andrew, would need brain surgery.

By Thursday night, I asked my mom... "should I just come home for the long weekend?"

Mom emphatically replied that we should go on to our vacation destination as planned. The thought of passing along hand, foot, and mouth disease to my sick old man alleviated any guilt from my mind (of not going home), and we were soon off as a family of three to the "happiest place on earth!"

As we drove through the afternoon on Friday, I soon realized that with comps two weeks behind me (and the scores still unknown) this would be my very first vacation EVER with Austin that I wasn't writing a paper!

I applied for my PhD program when he was four months old and have been trucking along (sometimes just hanging on) for the past three and a half years. I have a very vivid image of family vacation when Austin was only one-year-old. My entire extended family stole away to Callaway Gardens the summer of 2007 for a wonderful week of swimming, biking, golfing, and boating.

I had a deadline for a major paper due the FRIDAY of that vacation. To be honest, I am the QUEEN of procrastination for writing papers, and I remember leaving Austin and the family while I snuck away for eight hours in the hotel "office" and wrote and wrote.

All of that to say, I was so excited to think that I could read for PLEASURE for the first time on vacation in three years! I immediately put out a plea to all my facebook friends for book recommendations... and did they provide!

Austin, James, and I had the most wonderful long weekend away. We slept in late, we ate well, I had a pedicure, and we just talked... we just enjoyed being together without working, without typing, without thoughts of cancer or brain surgery. (Well, maybe some thoughts of those things).

And yesterday, as we drove home, the realization that a new week was upon us started to sink in... but something about this weekend has left me changed...

a little less worried...

a little more relaxed...

a little more trusting...

that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.

A LOT to update!

2010-09-06T14:33:00.000-07:00

In many ways, this blog has become a forum (of sorts) to ask for your continued prayers for our family. What started as a place to post pictures and stories of Austin has become a place for me to update my friends quickly about our growing prayer needs.

As you know, my dad continues to receive chemo every Monday and Thursday at Moffitt for his multiple myeloma and amyloidosis. It is hard to believe that I first heard the word Amyloidosis in December. Dad came home from a visit with his kidney doctor.

I was working at his office for the afternoon, and dad and mom came in from their appointment. "Well, Emmy... I don't even know if I can pronounce it, but the doctors say that I have amyloidosis."

A quick google search once my parents were out of the room led me to a quick realization. This was not a good diagnosis. Amyloidosis... a disease I learned to spell (and pronounce) that afternoon has never been far from our minds since.

Dad did not receive good news last Monday at his appointment, and mom and dad are now looking for treatment options in other parts of the country. You can read more from my dad at his latest blog post (click here).

As some of you may also remember... Six weeks ago, my nephew (Andrew) was sent to a neurosurgeon to discuss results of his MRI. Six weeks ago, we were so relieved to get the good news that brain surgery would not be necessary for his Chiari malformation, the doctors just wanted to keep a close eye on his brain every six weeks.

On Thursday, my sister and her family went back to All Children's hospital for their six week follow up. My day continued as normal - I called my mom several times to check on dad and his chemo for the day. "He is doing great, Emmy!" was my mom's ever positive response.

Around 4:00 pm, I received a text from my sister. "Andrew is going to need surgery."

What??? I was caught completely by surprise - expecting that Thursday's MRI would simply be a routine visit. The entire family was caught off guard based on the phone calls that ensued over the next few hours.

Jenny agreed to send my mom an email which explained everything they knew so far.

So, here is my sister's email: explaining everything that happened on Thursday

Today, we returned to All Children’s Hospital for an additional MRI of Andrew’s brain and spinal cord then a follow-up with the neurosurgeon. Based on today’s MRI results, the neurosurgeon was to make a recommendation about whether our boy would need surgery to correct his Chiari Malformation.

After reviewing Andrew’s images, the surgeon came in to speak with us. His use of words like “worrisome”, “severe”, and “concerned” were not what we were hoping for or expecting.

Andrew’s brain extends past the base of his skull and creates a sort of “cork”, plugging up the entrance to his spinal column. Today’s tests showed that this malformation is virtually blocking all spinal fluid from entering and exiting his brain. In addition to the fluid blockage, this “tonsil” of brain that’s extending downward is throbbing against his spinal column with every single heartbeat. The MRI images also showed that some spinal fluid (but only a very small amount so far) has accumulated in his spinal cord.

The surgeon was most concerned about the throbbing of his brain into the spinal cord. It’s very rare (he mentioned that this was the 2nd time he’d seen this effect with a Chiari patient) and exposes his brain to undue jostling and potential for injury.

The good news is that this can all be corrected with surgery. The procedure was clearly explained and the doctor reassured us that it’s a much less invasive procedure when done on children (adults require a much more aggressive surgery with a longer healing time). And from all accounts we’ve heard, it’s a remarkably effective “fix”, virtually eliminating most patients’ symptoms.

Although we have not yet scheduled his brain surgery, we have been advised to get it taken care of within the next several weeks – early November at the latest. This will include a 3 day hospital stay and a recovery period of about 5-6 weeks.

We’re sad for our little guy that he has to go through this at all, but we’re grateful for the peace that comes from knowing God is in control and loves Andrew even more than we do. We are ready to get this taken care soon – and get him back to his busy schedule of Kindergarten and t-ball!

I promise to continue to update, but please continue to keep my Dad (and Andrew) in your prayers!

Ready for a New Page!

2010-08-26T18:33:00.000-07:00

My comprehensive exams are done! I cannot begin to tell you how relieved I am to have these tests behind me. Last Friday, I sat in a computer lab and answered questions for five hours. It has taken me a week to want to write another word... including my blog :) On Saturday, I participated in the oral component of my exams. My presentation focused on "Developing Student Leaders." I wanted to synthesize the research between student development theory and leadership development theory. Basically, I want to know the best way for us to teach college students and develop their leadership potential!

After my presentation, I went to the airport to catch my flight HOME! I have never been more excited to come home! It was such a draining week. I hope that I pass my comps simply for the fact that I NEVER WANT TO TAKE THEM AGAIN! I am ready for the "new page" in my PhD program - dissertation phase.

Austin was staying with my parents for the week, so I flew into the local airport to see my boy!

On Sunday, we spent the day together as a family. As most of you know, my dad is on a new "chemo regime" to try to get the upper hand on his fight against multiple myeloma (cancer of the bone marrow) and amyloidosis. As we all sat down for lunch on Sunday afternoon, I heard my dad call out for my brother. Adam raced to the back, and we soon saw him "carrying" dad through the house to the bedroom. Dad has now passed out on my last two visits home! Dad, we need to talk!!! Please continue to keep my dad in your prayers.

My dad will post his own blog on Friday morning, so please go read at www.bobbugg.blogspot.com to get all the latest information and to encourage him by your comments.

As many of you know, I love to write, and I feel that writing is such a wonderful way to talk about your feelings. Last summer (at one of the hardest points in my life so far) I found that journaling allowed me to grieve... to express myself from the deepest places of my heart. The writing allowed me to sort through my thoughts, lay them before God's feet, and MOVE ON - (to allow God to write a new page in my marriage)! I found that my own healing process through adultery was accelerated through writing.

The most interesting part of my dad's cancer journey so far is that I cannot write about cancer. Perhaps one day the words will come. But not today. I have no desire (right now) to write about my dad, how much he means to me, and how devastating cancer can be.

So, I have found that in the meantime, my blog is often silent. For the very thing that I spend so many hours thinking and praying about (my dad and his cancer journey) is the very thing that I don't like to even mention in writing.

Basically, I would rather spend the rest of my life taking comprehensive exams than watch a family member fight cancer. Ughhhhh.... I don't know how to express my feelings other than a growl. Isn't that wonderful?

Cancer, grrrr.... you have reduced me to a growl.

Perhaps pictures will make my growling less noticeable.

This is one of the faces that greeted me home after comprehensive exams.

We all spend lots of time reading!

Reading somehow takes you into another world...

A world full of surprises behind every page.

So, dad, I continue to pray that the next page will be a really good surprise!

I love you so much!!!

It cannot be true...

2010-08-22T18:04:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe it.

This little one will start Pre K tomorrow morning!

His lunchbox is packed and his book bag is sitting by the door. He is ready, but am I?

Study Break Needed

2010-08-15T10:39:00.000-07:00

Shortly after our anniversary at the beginning of August, we took this picture!

(we both look so tired! This has been a very long summer :)

Happy Anniversary, James. I love you now more than ever before!

We went out for a wonderful anniversary dinner the first week of August, but I didn't take any pictures of us dressed up and ready to go!

This picture was actually taken the day after our anniversary. We went over to my sister-in-law's house for a good home-cooked meal of homemade fried chicken and macaroni and cheese! The women in this family know how to cook!!! (please note that I am not talking about myself).

After dinner, mom and dad Q wanted to get a picture of the whole family together. Since we didn't have our tripod (or an extra guest) we just took two pictures.

One with Granny:

And one with Grandaddy:

whenever we would count to three, Austin would look down! He is at the fun "I don't want to smile for a picture" stage!

Believe it or not, these are the most current pictures on my camera- and they were taken on August 3rd!!! I have grand plans for all the things I cannot wait to do after my comprehensive exams are done.

Grand plans!

I leave on Wednesday to fly to Texas to take my exams.

These Days

2010-08-14T05:55:00.000-07:00

These days...

We are trying to enjoy the last week of summer
before a new school year starts.

Next Monday I will start working in a new classroom
with at least fifteen absolutely precious four-year-olds.

Austin will be attending pre-K just across the hallway, and I am reminded that I am doing exactly what I want to be doing...
teaching, but poking my head in to check
on my beautiful boy throughout the day.

These days...

I am wrapping up "Summer Camp" with twenty first and second graders.
I am exhausted, but the days have been filled
with field trips and water slides and legos;
and it is a good kind of exhaustion.

These days...

Austin is picked up from school by his granny and grandaddy
and I get a few hours of uninterrupted study time before we start dinner.

Because in just a few days I will fly to Texas
to take my Comprehensive exams for my PhD work...

These days...

I am a little bit overwhelmed, but trying to still enjoy every moment.

Even those moments when my head is swirling with dates, books, and facts...

So, when I am quiet for some time

When I don't post pictures

or journal too much about our lives

It is because sometimes life is just a little bit more full

a little more intense

a little more difficult

and that is how I describe "these days."

Jokes

2010-08-05T18:29:00.000-07:00

Austin and Andrew are at the wonderful age of joke telling. They absolutely love to tell jokes to one another... and the jokes make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

This past weekend while we were visiting my hometown, Austin and Andrew were telling jokes while swimming in the pool.

"Why did the boogie board go through the diving board?"

"Because it wanted to get to the hose!"

And then pure belly laughter!!!

"No, No, I have one."

"Why did the hose talk to the baby?"

"Because it wanted to answer the phone!!!"

Bahahahahaha Ba-hahahaha!

I listened to them tell jokes for at least thirty minutes. Each joke making absolutely no more sense to me than the one before. But to these boys, each joke was the funniest thing they have ever heard in their lives.

So, today, on the way home from summer camp, Austin said, "Mom, let's tell each other funny jokes!"

"Okay, buddy. Why don't you go first."

"Okay, mom. Why did the lunchbox get in the car?"

"I don't know, Aus. Why did the lunchbox get in the car?"

"Because it wanted to play on the playground!!!"

And I laughed. I laughed with everything that a mom can give her four-year-old son following a joke that she absolutely does not understand... but I laughed. Because his five-year-old cousin wasn't here to laugh with him. I laughed with Austin. We laughed until we cried simply because the joke was just that horrible.

And then, it was my turn.

"Mom, it's your turn. You tell a joke!" My son asked in full expectation.

I tried to go for something simple. Something classic. Something maybe he could remember easily to tell his cousin next time.

"Okay, buddy. Why did the chicken cross the playground?"

And he welled up with excitement. He was so excited to have mommy playing his game.

"I don't know, mom. Why did the chicken cross the playground."

And I paused. I wanted the full weight of the moment to get his attention... and then I said it...

"To get to the other SLIDE!"

And I laughed.

And he just sat in the backseat. And there was absolute silence.

And I knew that I had not played his game well. He confirmed my suspicions.

"Mom," he said after a long pause. "I just don't think that you quite understand this game."

Oh, buddy, you are so right. I don't know how to play all of your games well. But, you just absolutely delight my heart... and I cannot wait to get back to Beachtown with your cousin. I cannot wait to hear you tell jokes that center around objects you see around you at the moment. We speak different languages - you in your four-year-old way and me with my thirty-two-year-old life experience.

Perhaps tomorrow we can try again. I will give up a little of my rules, my experience, and my reality and I will just laugh with you over the lunchbox who wants to answer a phone.

My (almost) Teenager

2010-08-03T13:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, James and I celebrated our 7th Wedding Anniversary! 7 Years!!! Whoo Hoo. If you know our story, then you can only imagine that we decided to spend the day celebrating... Celebrating all that the Lord has done in our marriage over seven years (but particularly celebrating his grace and mercies that have been new for the past year).

I want to write a blog post about our marriage on another day, but we are headed out of the house in just a few minutes for our family celebration dinner tonight. (Mom Q's birthday, our anniversary, and Dave and Kendra's anniversary will all be celebrated with a big family dinner tonight at Dave and Kendra's house).

So, before we head out the door, I had to share this picture of Austin from last night.

We were on our way out the door for dinner, and Austin grabbed my car keys. The years flashed before my eyes and suddenly he looked 16 years old asking to borrow my car.

He is growing so quickly

I want to push pause

Because Austin at four-years-old is one of the absolute joys of my life

So, even though my anniversary flowers were absolutely stunning...

the best part of our seven year marriage (besides being with my best friend) is having this little person around who is such a blend of his mommy and daddy!

Hospitals and Good Hair

2010-08-01T18:16:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, my dad started a new chemo plan two weeks ago to fight his amyloidosis (nasty disease). As he mentioned on his own blog this past week, the chemo treatment has knocked him "on his fanny." Since I am done traveling (and writing papers) for the summer, it was time to GO HOME!

Shortly after arriving home, my dad fainted and was rushed to the emergency room. I am so glad that Adam and his family were over visiting as well. Adam helped "carry" my dad to the car; and mom, dad, and Adam were soon on their way to the nearest ER. Sharon and I took the kids swimming (to keep some sense of normalcy) while we waited for more news.

Mom soon called with good news. Dad needed IV fluids for dehydration, but would not be admitted for the night. They were on their way home! Jenny and her family were able to come over and we all spent the evening just being together. Please continue to keep my dad in your prayers. We are praying for renewed strength even in the midst of intense chemotherapy. We are especially praying for the chemo to work!!! We want healing. I need my dad to be around for a very long time :)

With the entire family home safe and sound, Adam allowed me to play with his camera for the night, and I just need to talk to you about Megan's hair!

This precious girl is nine months old! Nine months... and her hair is already longer and thicker than mine!

Good hair must just run in the family.

Pink

2010-07-31T16:20:00.001-07:00

I am HOME this weekend!

Spending my time with plenty of pink

and loving on the two most adorable nieces in the world.

2010-07-29T17:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Granny Q's (James' mom) birthday! Happy Birthday, Granny Q!!!

We love you so much!

Remember how I have been finding random photos in my phone?

Well, this is the blessing of losing my camera. I have found the lost photos... such treasures... like this series of photos Austin and I took one day at Granny and Grandaddy Q's house when we were house-sitting. I turned around to find Austin like this.

"What are you doing, Austin???" I asked.

"I am pretending to be Granny." He stated firmly.

Happy Birthday, Granny, from a little one who loves you so much he wants to be just like you!

Our REAL life in Pictures

2010-07-28T18:42:00.001-07:00

I have not been blogging lately, and I will be completely honest about the reason. My camera is still missing...

I am heartbroken over a camera. With everything else that has happened this year, it seems rather silly to be so upset about a camera, but I am just devastated about losing my camera. My camera was a Mother's Day gift from James last year and it was the first NICE camera that I have ever owned. I fell in love. As you can tell over the course of my blog's life in the last year, I took that camera everywhere and fell in love with taking pictures!

When I traveled to Washington, DC two weeks ago, I couldn't wait to take some pictures of the Nation's capital to put on the blog (and to have for my photo albums). Since the camera is a little too big for carrying around, I (think) I left the camera in our conference room at the hotel while we held registration for the conference. I have not seen the camera since. Some of my friends lost ipods and bookbags in the same "locked" room, however, so I have my theories...

All that to say, I am mopey. Mopey about not having a camera to take picture for my blog... but also willing to wait until James and I can save some money to afford another camera. I have come to grips with the reality that is... a camera on my phone. Definitely not the quality of pictures I have been dreaming about, but these pictures still capture those moments. Those precious moments that I don't want to forget.

However, since I always used my other camera before, my camera phone was relegated for Austin's pleasure while we were out and about (or bored)...

So today, for the first time, I uploaded my camera phone's pictures to my computer, and laughed out loud at some of the results.

While most of the pictures included the inside of my car

or an unflattering picture of my back side

There were also visits to the Doctor's office

And moments with Andrew (his cousin)

that were caught on film.

So, I am slowly coming to grips with reality... the pictures will not be high quality, but they will still be moments of our life. They will still contain all the memories that make me laugh out loud, and memories that I still want to share on the blog.

So here they come...

Pictures from my phone. In all of their glory

Away

2010-07-25T20:03:00.000-07:00

I don't know when it started. Perhaps it has always been this way...

but I love my quiet time.

I am not talking about my "devotional quiet time" (although I love that time too)

I am not trying to be spiritual

Just myself.

I love being by myself... MY quiet time.

And this summer has been a busy time of working, and playing, and vacationing, and traveling, and interning, and working some more. And I often go to bed early in order to hear my 5:30 am alarm going off...

and I am working on finishing some papers

and trying my best to teach with excellence this summer

in the midst of being mom, and wife, and friend

So, this weekend, we stole away to the beach.

Just James, Austin, and me

And I sat for hours last night on our 17th floor balcony overlooking the ocean

and I just stared at the moon

long after everyone else was asleep

and it was absolutely peaceful

and I felt fulfilled... just being...

me...

2010-07-19T20:07:00.000-07:00

I have spent a week away from my family (and regular job) enjoying almost 800 high school students in Washington, DC. The days were long, typically waking at 5:45 am and not falling into bed until after 1:00 in the morning. My body is exhausted, but my heart is full. Full of processing conversations... full of moments of laughter that delighted my heart... full of new friendships and relationships... full of pictures that will be forever captured in my mind.

And yet, while I was away, my family's world kept spinning.

And Andrew (my precious nephew) received good news about his MRI results. He will not need surgery at this point to correct the skull malformation, and so... we lift up praise!

But Dad's blood work reveals that he must start new treatment immediately (as in this morning at Moffitt)! And yet... we continue to lift up praise. For while cancer shakes all of our lives to the very core; it also makes every moment in life a little more precious. Especially the moments that I can spend with smiles like these:

And a staff like this:

2010-07-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

It is after midnight in Washington, DC.

I can honestly confess that I don't know what day of the week it is...

This is not because I am overwhelmed or burdened - just the opposite in fact, I am having the time of my life learning about leadership with almost 800 high school students from around the world.

I am here as a part of an organization I love. I am here to serve 56 students as their "tour guide" for the week. I am here to learn about leadership for my PhD program. I am here to serve others.

And these days of service are long. But, I just got to tour the Jefferson Memorial, the Lincoln Memorial, the Korean Memorial, and the Vietnam Memorial... with 56 of the most interesting and respectful students you could meet.

AND...

We have an update on my nephew, Andrew!

My sister's blog explains it all in detail! click here to read all about Andrew's appointment with the nuerosurgeon

Mom, what does gratitude mean?

2010-07-11T18:28:00.000-07:00

I learn so much from my four year old.

from silly bandz to scooby doo... to the latest apps and games for an ipod

I learn things from Austin every single day.

Several days ago as Austin and I were running errands around town, I noticed the ugly beast of selfishness rearing its ugly head from the back seat.

"What are you going to buy me from the store, mom?" Austin asked matter-of-factly.

"Toilet paper!" I replied quickly.

"Toilet paper??? I can't play with toilet paper!" Austin stated loudly from the backseat.

"Of course you can play with toilet paper," I replied, "But I would prefer that you not play with toilet paper. It would sure make a mess for you to clean up!"

"But mooooommmmm..." and the whine started.

And I stopped the car.

And he stopped the whine.

"Why did you stop the car, mom?" He asked with a little bit of Godly fear starting to come into his day.

"Austin, I stopped the car because you do not have a heart of gratitude. Your behavior is unacceptable, and if you cannot show gratitude towards the things that I have already given you, then we will not go to the store at all. We will immediately go home and start packing up your toys and donate them to other children who don't have any toys. Do you understand me?"

"I do have a gratitude heart, mom!" He started crying. "I will have gratitude!"

And I turned the car back onto the road - towards the store for toilet paper.

As we walked up to the store from the parking lot, Austin looked at me with big eyes.

"Mom, What is gratitude?"

As we walked into the store, we talked about having a thankful heart. Thanking God and others for all the blessings we have received. Telling Jesus thank you for all the wonderful things that happen every single day in our lives.

And we bought toilet paper... and I completely forgot about our conversation.

--------

Until this morning.

Following a beautiful service at my sister's church, a man in his thirties sat down at the grand piano and started playing an offertory song. The music was mesmerizing, but the melody... it was the melody that stirred my heart.

Give thanks with a grateful heart.
Give thanks to the Holy One.
Give thanks because He has given Jesus Christ, his son...

And suddenly, tears filled my eyes.

"Stop it!" I told myself. "Do not get choked up over a song you learned in third grade!"

But I was choked up because I was so convicted.

"Emily, you have not had a grateful heart." I sensed the Lord's prompting in my spirit. "You have been whining and complaining about all the things that have happened over the past year. You have not been thankful."

And it is true! The Lord has redeemed my marriage from the pit (in a year)! I am more in love with my husband than ever before in eight years of marriage. God brought my marriage back from the dead. In every sense, he figuratively did a working of resurrection power in my love for my husband (and vice versa).

And, in in the most literal of senses, God has brought my dad back to life! I will never forget walking into Dad's hospital room a few days after the transplant and honestly wondering if he was still alive in the hospital bed. He looked so weak, so wounded, so small. My dad... my hero dad was taken to death's door... and now he is back.

Yes, Dad still has multiple myeloma. Yes, dad looks like he has been to death's door and back (sorry, dad). But, I get to sit in the living room and talk to him. I get to see and hear his testimony daily about what he is learning about God through cancer. I get to have my dad. And while I hope that it is for another 40 years, I have my dad back today.

And I have not been having a heart of gratitude. Have the trials been difficult? More than words will ever express. But, would I do this year all over again?

I hesitate in my answer. I want to be honest.

For what I have learned about Jesus. For what I have experienced about his love and intimacy.

The answer is yes.

And I am so grateful.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
Colossians 3:16

Polka Dots

2010-07-10T18:59:00.000-07:00

Several years ago, I was helping with a Bible study on I Peter. I will never forget my study of I Peter chapter 1.

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Little did I know ten years ago as I taught about I Peter, God was preparing my heart for “such a time as this!” Beth Moore explained verse six in this way: We all have different trials. The original word for “various” trials is “poikilos” - which means “many kinds or many colors!” It is the Greek word from which we derive our word “polka dot”. You know how polka dots come in all shapes and sizes. That is how trials come. They are different for every person. They are various. They come in small, large, blue, black, and even red! Poikilos Trials.

Polka dotted trials.

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of various (polka dotted) trials. These trials (of all shapes and sizes) have come so that my faith, which is worth more than gold, may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed! Through these polka dotted trials, I am receiving the goal of my faith!!!

Would you mind if I just shared some of the huge polka dots from this year?

July 2009: James tells me that he has been having an affair.
July 2009: I move home with my parents.
July 2009: James loses job. I quit mine. Income stops. All parents help provide.
December 2009: Dad diagnosed with multiple myeloma (cancer of bone marrow).
January 2010: We sell my dream home in Texas.
January 2010: Make cross-country move to Florida.
February 2010: Dad undergoes bone marrow transplant.
April 2010: Austin and I move back in with James in a new city.
June 2010: Bone marrow transplant results do not show any improvement.
July 2010: Andrew brain scan – shows malformation.

In the midst of all the huge variety of trials of 2010 have also come all the little everyday trials… the trials of being a mom, being a PhD student, being a friend, being a daughter, paying bills… you get the drift.

I was once taught that each of our trials prepares us to help someone else down the road when they face the same kind of trial. I have always tried to be as honest as possible about my trials – hoping that I Peter 7 would prove true – that my faith would be proved genuine and that others would come to praise and glorify Jesus Christ!

When I found out about my husband’s infidelity, I immediately knew that no matter how things worked out in the end, this was now a part of my ministry. (A ministry I never wanted, and NEVER would have dreamed of… but as a result of my own life, would allow me to hopefully minister to other women in the same horrible situation.)

Then, when we found out about Dad’s cancer, I thought… “Okay, God is now preparing me to help minister to those directly affected by cancer.” This is now part of my ministry.

Did you know that this same word: this polka dottedness is also used to describe God’s grace? I didn’t! But I Peter 4 tells us that God’s grace comes in “various” (i.e. polka dotted) forms. It makes complete sense that God’s grace is various to meet the specific needs of the situation. I Peter 4:10 tells believers that we should use whatever gift (and I believe circumstance) that God has given us in order to serve others, “faithfully administering God’s grace in all it’s various POLKA DOTTED forms!”

So, this week, when we found out that Andrew would need to visit a neurosurgeon, I had a long talk with God. “Lord, you do realize that I am not trying to experience every single polka dotted aspect of your grace, right? My goal is not to have every single life experience so that I can affectively minister to all people in all situations, right? Isn’t it enough that adultery, cross country moves, job loss, and cancer were all added this year? Do we really need to add another color to the polka dottedness of my year?”

And today, through a series of events, emails, lessons on tape, and conversations, I am reminded of the purpose of every single trial – no matter what shape or size. The trial has only two purposes: 1) to show the genuine-ness of my faith! And 2) to bring praise, glory, and honor to Jesus Christ.

If you were to ever ask me the deepest longings of my heart, I hope that I would answer truthfully. In the purest places (the quietest places of my soul) I want to live this life, this relationship with Christ that I confess, in the most intimate way and I want him to be glorified! I want him to receive all praise, glory, and honor…

To be continued.

Prayer Request Update!

2010-07-09T18:48:00.000-07:00

Can you tell that my mom and dad are just a little bit happy about having four grandchildren?

Just a little bit happy!

If you have been following my dad's blog (A Cheerful Heart), then you know that we continue to covet your prayers as a family! Dad had an appointment at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville last week. For the first time, a doctor stood before my parents and gave a prognosis. As a family, we have never asked for a prognosis, never looked online for a prognosis, and believed that it is God who truly numbers all of our days. While we still believe it is God alone who numbers our days, it is hard to receive a prognosis from a doctor - especially when it is preceded by the words, "Mr. Bugg, you have a very bad disease!"

Dad is having some tests done in the next week or so to try to begin another treatment option, so please keep my parents in your prayers as they navigate this journey of cancer.

In other prayer news, my nephew will be meeting with a neurosurgeon on Wednesday, July 14th to discuss an MRI he had done last week. Please keep Andrew (age 5), my sister (Jenny) and David (brother-in-law) in your prayers during this time. I will update you as I find out more information. He went to have an MRI last week due to headaches - and his pediatrician has asked for follow up with a neurosurgeon. At this point, I really don't have other details. So, just as always, we ask for your prayer. We continue to believe in a God who is in control! Thank goodness!

My sister, Andrew, and Megan

And just because cuteness abounds from my two nieces, I will throw in a picture of them too!

Famiy Photo Shoot - Minus James

2010-07-07T20:02:00.000-07:00

Austin, James and I were able to go to Beachtown for a few days this past weekend to celebrate the 4th of July. I love being home, and I absolutely LOVE my family.

Unfortunately, James had to work on the 5th, so he wasn't able to make our family barbeque and photo session. Just imagine him standing there next to Austin and above Adam. Once I learn photo shop, I will just photoshop him into the picture :)

Immediately after taking this picture, Adam said, "Okay, that was pretty good, but let's try to get another picture with the baby girls actually looking at the camera."

I think it was that exact moment when Megan decided to pull Avery's pacifier out of her mouth and Avery decided that she had just about had enough of her hat.

Even with Adam's expert photography skills, there was no way to capture a moment of family happiness with two screaming 8 month olds.

So, this was the result.

Probably my favorite picture of the day!

It is just coming out...

2010-07-06T17:48:00.000-07:00

"Hey, buddy. What are you working on?"

"I am drawing a picture for you, mom."

"Oh, wow! What are you drawing?"

"It's a heart, mom. Can't you see it? It's my heart."

"Oh, buddy. I do see it! What a great heart. What are the lines coming out of it?"

"Mom, that's the love. It is just coming out because I love you so much."

... as if there was any question about how crazy I am for this boy. He absolutely steals my heart every single day.

Happy Fourth of July!

2010-07-04T16:53:00.001-07:00

My heart (and my stomach) are completely full from all the fourth of July activities so far today! Mom and I are still deciding whether or not we want to venture into the traffic of Beachtown tonight to see any live firework shows. So, until we decide whether or not our day's activities have come to an end, here are some of my favorite pictures from today!

Austin and I playing on the kitchen floor this morning before everyone arrived for lunch.

Miss Megan enjoying watermelon for the first time.

Andrew was just a little bit excited when the sky cleared enough for the family to go swimming.

Miss Megan

My view all afternoon. I love the view from here!

A typical brother/ sister moment between Andrew and Megan

My sweet husband

And my sweet, sweet boy!!!

I hope that you have had a wonderful Fourth of July celebrating with those you love the most.

We are back in Beachtown for the weekend!

2010-07-03T16:48:00.000-07:00

Doing a lot of this!

(I plan to update a real post soon! I have been busy teaching and traveling... and honestly, just loving life quietly for a little while!)

San Antonio

2010-06-25T08:36:00.000-07:00

This week, I have been in San Antonio with a wonderful organization called Student Leadership University.

I am busy loving on 248 high school students... training and learning about leadership.

I miss my boys like crazy, and I cannot wait to get home tomorrow night.

Just wanted to let you know the reason behind my blogging break!

Until I am home...

Emily

Busy with Baseball

2010-06-13T12:55:00.000-07:00

We have had a busy baseball weekend.

The Gators have been playing in the Super Regionals, so we have watched a lot of baseball!

On Friday night, we decided to take Austin to his first Gator baseball game. He had been to a couple of Texas Rangers baseball games last year, but he doesn't seem to remember them, so he kept saying, "This is my first baseball game!" He was very excited... until the opening pitch.

"Okay," he said as he turned towards me. "That's enough. I am ready to go home."

By this point in the game, James was still on his way in from work, so I convinced Austin that we would at least stay until daddy arrived with some of his work friends.

"Okay, mom. I am ready to leave now," Austin claimed as everyone took their seats.

I gave special permission for Austin to play on uncle dave's ipod to hold him over for a couple of innings. (If you don't remember, Austin is banned from playing on anything created by MAC until he is 5 since he broke my computer).

Speaking of which, my little smarty pants and I went to ice cream with some friends this past week.

"Ms. Heather," Austin asked in all seriousness... "Is your phone made by Apple? Is it a mac?"

"No, Austin. My phone is a verizon phone," Ms. Heather replied.

And then, Austin looked up at me with huge eyes. "I can play on Ms. Heather's phone!!!" He practically screamed with excitement.

At the baseball game, Austin was allowed a limited time to play games on the ipods, but this was the look I got when I told him it was time to put the phones down for a family picture.

I have a feeling that I am going to be seeing a lot more of that pouting face as Austin gets older.

Fortunately for me, however, most of his looks include cheesy smiles (like this one with Aunt Kendra)

rather than pouts. I love baseball and my boys!

Innocence

2010-06-12T06:57:00.000-07:00

I love close up pictures of children.

There is something so innocent

Something so special

and something so pure about capturing the face of a child :)

He is Swimming (and I might be Sinking)

2010-06-09T20:44:00.000-07:00

I am tired. A good tired, but a fall-into-bed-exhausted kind of tired.

On Sunday morning, AJ and I drove down to Beachtown to visit my parents for a few days. Austin had been begging for some play time with his cousin, and I love being at my parents.... so.... after all the birthday parties and fun from Saturday, we woke up early on Sunday morning and drove home!

As soon as we arrived (and my sister got home from church) the boys decided to go SWIMMING! Swimming was the theme of the weekend, and I am so proud to announce that Austin can swim without his wings! Whooo Hoooo. We are so excited for him, and he is very excited for himself. We swam for about two hours (???) and then the boys played inside for awhile. I did a quick grocery store run for my parents and by the time I got home, the boys were back in the pool with grandma!

On Monday afternoon, we all met at the local splash park and the pictures are GREAT! Most of them, however, happen to me on my brother's camera, so more pictures will be coming soon.

Megan at the splash park

Austin at the splash park

On Tuesday morning, Austin and I woke up and then went SWIMMING again with Andrew. The boys have such a great time together, and we were sad to leave on Tuesday afternoon. We drove back to University Town in order for me to make my staff meeting at 5:45 pm. By the time I left staff meeting at 8:45 pm last night, I was exhausted.

Today has been filled with meetings, lesson planning, and working in my summer classroom. Austin stayed with me and helped with bulletin boards today :) Summer school starts first thing Monday morning.

I don't know which is better in this picture. Austin's smile or Andrew's hair? What do you think???

Busy; but Blessed

2010-06-06T19:52:00.000-07:00

Some of you don't know much about my history with my new hometown - University Town. Immediately after graduating from college (a rival college in another city), I moved to University Town in 2000. I interned with a ministry on the college campus, lived with Amber, and had one of the most amazing years of my life. Somehow, that one year (from 2000-2001) was a time of friendships that have sustained the past ten years of moves, jobs, and cross country trips.

Even though I only lived in University town for a short time from 2000-2001, I fell in love with my church, the city, and my friends. Fell in love! Little did I know that God was weaving together our story, a story that would have unexpected twists and turns, but would always turn back to his merciful hand.

Since James grew up in University town, we have visited frequently over the past ten years - always hugging necks at church during the Christmas Eve service or occassionally posting a quick note on facebook to our old friends. One of the greatest blessings of the past year is how the Lord allowed us to resettle - to rebuild - in this precious hometown.

Many of our friends still live here, settling down in marriage, building families, and pursuing careers and ministry. In the few short months that we have been back in town, these friends have invited us over for dinner, set up playdates for our children, and in the most amazing way - have included us in the life of University Town as if we never left.

In many ways, the ugliness of the past year has turned into the most beautiful part of our story - a story of God's grace, his redemption, and friendships based completely around Christ.

This past weekend has been a celebration of many of these University town friendships. On Saturday morning, we went to a Thomas the Tank Engine Birthday party for our friends and their three-year-old son.

The cake, The homemade cake! I am in awe.

Austin loved playing with all of Grant's trains and cried when we had to leave.

Three old friends at the birthday - they have known each other FOREVER!
John, Gabe, and James

And those old friends' "young sons" eating pizza
John's Son, Gabe's Son, and our A.J.

After the birthday party, we went to the Q house (my in-laws) for swimming and bbq with some other dear friends. (We are taking care of the Q house while my in-laws are on vacation, and we are thrilled about access to their grill and pool! Thanks mom and dad Q!)

Austin, James, and Hank eating on the outside patio. James and Hank shared a wonderful adventure in an African hospital about 12 years ago, but that is another story for another day.

Heather is one of my closest friends in my new hometown, and she and I share a passion for education and child development! This picture was taken after a long day of playing with four boys in the pool!

Three of our boys playing together with James' old toys!

We are so blessed with these friendships that have already withstood time and distance and just picked up right where we left off. We are so richly blessed!

Caught in the Birthday Pie!

2010-06-04T19:58:00.000-07:00

James' birthday was last week, and we all decided to celebrate with a big birthday dinner.

Since Grandaddy just bought a new grill, we decided to hold the birthday festivities at the Q house.

While everyone else was busy with the birthday dinner preparations, I turned around to this scene.

Yes, hands in the birthday pie.

Completely guilty.

But even when he is guilty, he is just sooo cute!

Random Musings from a Long Day!

2010-06-03T18:56:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Friday! I love Fridays!

If you have been following my dad's journey through cancer and amyloidosis, please stop by his blog. He updates his site with new information every Friday morning. Just click on the words below and it will take you to his blog. He lists several specific prayer requests this week.

A Cheerful Heart- My Dad's Blog

As dad had his doctor's appt. at Moffit Cancer Institute, Austin had his first appt. with a new pediatrician in our new town. You know that you are living in a small town (or at least a hometown) when you take your son to the same pediatrician your husband saw when he was growing up! Is anyone else reminded of the Friends episode where Ross still goes to visit his pediatrician?? Yes? Well, welcome to my reality!

Austin had to get two shots this morning (for his four-year-old wellness visit), and he made me laugh out loud when he tried to negotiate with the nurse.

"How about just one shot today?" Austin asked as she came in the room with the needles.

The nurse avoided his question. "This will be very quick."

"Okay, how about this... I will lay back and do one shot, and then I will come in another day to do the other shot? Does that sound good?"

His negotiation failed and he received two shots. We did, however, visit Toys R' Us this afternoon and bought a "special treat" for his bravery at the doctor's office.

James often teases me about my use of the term "special treat" when dealing with our son. I have learned however, that an a skittle, a juice box, or even popcorn can all become desperately wanted when I simply use the term "special treat!"

I do not feel good about my mothering strategies however, when I ask Austin to take his dirty clothes to the laundry room and he asks, "And then what do I get as a special treat, mom?" My reply... Clean Clothes!

Last week we had a play date with some of our friends in University Town. The H family has a garter snake in their yard that they see regularly, and they have named him "Nofeet." Mom H asked Austin if he wanted to help find Nofeet while we were playing in the backyard. For the first time in my entire life, I went searching for a snake rather than running in another direction. I must admit that I was DELIGHTED that nofeet was nowhere to be found on playdate day.

Austin, however, has decided that he too wants a garter snake in his yard. Today, our new pediatrician asked Austin if he had any pets.

"No." He said. "Not yet, but we are getting a garter snake soon."

The doctor looked at me.

"No." I said. "Austin just wants a garter snake."

So, as one of our projects, we put together a model snake for Austin. I let him paint the snake, but I somehow could "only find" the pink and orange paints that day. Listen, if I have to have a snake in my house (even a replica), I want it to be as non-realistic as possible.

Here is our new pink pet. I hope you enjoy your Friday as much as I plan to enjoy mine. I am sure that there will be stories to tell!

*** Updated: I just realized that I never took a picture of the finished product (a pink pet), here is the snake in the beginning orange stages - I will take another pic tomorrow!

Growing and Painting Things

2010-06-02T16:33:00.001-07:00

In just a few short days, I will begin a new job teaching at a new school (for their summer program). I am absolutely thrilled about teaching again, and my mind is racing with ideas for lessons, crafts, games, and centers!

I love having a four-year-old, Austin is just at the right age now for us to experiment with lesson ideas. By doing a first run with Austin, I can foresee at least some of the unexpected hurdles to any lesson. And... Austin gets some one on one learning and undivided attention. This is a definite win-win situation for us!

So, today, I wanted to do some work with stencils, mixing paint, and talking about stars.

We had a wonderful time painting (Austin hums while he works, and I absolutely love hearing him)! After finishing our project, I asked Austin if he could work quietly by himself for a few minutes while I finished some lesson plans.

Can you tell where I was sitting while planning? Yes, right in the middle of the floor next to the printer!

Can you also tell that I spread out while I work? I have no problem with creating a mess - whether in the playroom or a classroom. You just sometimes have to get messy.

Apparently, Austin feels the same way.

"Mom, can I work with stamps while you do your stuff?" Austin asked.

"Of course, sweetheart. I will just get all the stamp stuff together for you."

"Mom, can I stamp my fingerprint?"

"Sure, baby. That's fine. Mommy's just going to keep working, okay?"

"Mom, can I make a handprint?"

"Of course, buddy."

And then I decided to look up from my work.

Um, Austin, you need to go to the bathroom immediately and wash your hands.

"okay, mom."

A few minutes later I heard a shout from the bathroom.

"Mom????!!!!"

"Yes, Austin."

"I can't wash my hands in this sink. I have some things growing in here."

Yes, this is my life with my four-year-old.

"Growing???? Austin, did you say something is growing in there?"

Yes, mom.

And, I finally got myself off the floor and decided to help my son wash his hands.

Fortunately, the "growing things" were not fungus or mold. Simply another science experiment that I had forgotten about.

Oh, Austin, with you, the fun just never ends!

A Breath.

2010-06-01T17:50:00.001-07:00

These are some of my favorite pictures from May 2009. It is so hard to believe that a year has already passed since these pictures were taken. May 2009. The year passed so quickly, yet so slowly in other ways. May 2010. Already come and gone. Like a breath.

May 2009. Austin and his grandaddy were sitting in the middle of a field in Kentucky. We were celebrating the life of Austin's great-grandaddy. The day after his beautiful memorial service, we went exploring all over the Kentucky farmland. While the rest of the family explored. Grandaddy showed Austin how to pick a dandelion. And blow.

They didn't know that I was capturing the lesson on film.

I can't remember having to learn how to blow the dandelion. But I must have had a similar lesson at a young age. Learning to enjoy the simple things.

To simply allow things to float into the wind. To watch as the wind takes them to their next destination.

May 2009. I had no idea that within two months my life would be turned upside down. I would no longer live in Texas. I would have to relearn several things. I would need so many to teach me the simple things.

May 2010. I am starting to truly understand and enjoy some of the lessons.

My Poor Mr. Mac

2010-05-25T17:25:00.000-07:00

It involved an unsupervised four-year-old
and my macbook.

Let's just say the macbook lost.
AJ and I drove two hours today to the nearest apple store.
I had to leave Mr. Mac behind for ten days (at most, they say.)
Ten business days!

Austin is not allowed to play with any apple products (including ipods, iphones, or macbooks) until he turns five. He is devastated.

For the next ten days, my computer access will be limited. Very limited.

But, I have to be honest, the past year has truly put things in perspective - and the next ten days will probably be filled with reading books from the library, playing with train sets on my living room floor, and taking long walks with my family.

BOWS!

2010-05-23T18:47:00.000-07:00

Several days ago; Austin, James, and I went to a large store to look at some shoes for J. After we found a good pair, James offered to take Austin to the toy section of the store to browse (while I shopped for myself)! Hallelujah! I was thrilled to have some uninterrupted moments to shop (and even try on clothes in a dressing room without my four-year-old asking,"How much longer, mom?").

About twenty minutes later, I ran into James and Austin in the children's department. James saw my arms loaded down with clothes and asked, "Were you able to find some good things?" I started holding up dress after dress for him to see - however, they were not in my size, they were all in sizes 6-12 months.

"Well, I see that you haven't been shopping for yourself." James noted.

"I can't help myself." I replied. "I have two nieces now, and look at these clothes! These are the cutest clothes that I have ever seen."

And just to prove my point, here are some recent pictures of my niece, Megan, dressed in an outfit that my sister found on consignment! I could just die from all the cuteness.

So, even though on that night I returned all the precious dresses to the rack, I have a feeling that my bank account is never going to be the same.

Life doesn't get better than a Lollipop Tree!

2010-05-20T18:11:00.000-07:00

I just found these pictures on my camera and wanted to share them!

Last Friday, we were in University Town (our new hometown) and we attended a school carnival! My sister-in-law, Kendra, is a fourth grade teacher at a local elementary school. She invited us to the school carnival to take place on Friday afternoon. All day long, Austin talked about the Festiball (his pronunciation of festival).

"When are we going to the school festi-ball, Mom?"

We finally arrived at the school to find Austin's Aunt Kendra standing at her booth, the lollipop tree. Needless to say, Austin was thrilled and our pockets were soon filled with lollipops and prizes won at each and every booth.

Before long, however, Austin found his true love - the Snocone (also spelled Snow cone or sno cone- I only know this information because I just googled how to spell snocone).

Tonight, as I was found this picture on my computer, Austin looked over my shoulder and said. "Oh, mom. I really need a snocone. RIGHT NOW!"

The carnival was the perfect time to get a picture with my sister-in-law.

Emily and Kendra

And all the Q girls.

Emily, Kendra, and Mom Q

We had a wonderful time meeting Kendra's co-workers - and her precious school children. We can't wait for more school festivals!

Our Tale of Two Cities

2010-05-18T19:44:00.000-07:00

I often catch my friends by surprise.

"Do you want to get the kids together for swimming this week?"

"I would LOVE that, but I am out of town this week... how about next week?"

So, just to keep everyone advised, I am at my parents for the entire week:)

Austin and I continue to "live" between two cities, and this has been the perfect blend for our family during this time. As we have made the transition to a new city, we continue to return to my parents' home as much as possible.

A scheduled business trip for James allowed us to plan for an entire week with my parents. I was thrilled that it just so happened to coincide with the last week of school at the preschool Austin has been attending since September. I wanted to give him a chance to play with his friends, say goodbye to his teachers, and attend the preschool picnic on the last day of school! So... even when James' work canceled his plans to be out of town, Austin and I still decided to make the trip.

I feel like I am taking one last great vacation before I begin a new job for the summer. Austin and I swim every day, enjoy time with my parents, and I am definitely planning some beach time at some point this week.

I am so thrilled that we were able to be home TODAY! Today, my dad returned to work! He had one mediation scheduled on the books for the last six months (or so), and this was the mediation we set our minds toward. The goal. Can dad recover enough to start mediating once again? Will he be too weak on May 18th? Will he have to cancel? Will he faint?

The house hummed this morning, as we all got ready for school (and WORK!) and before I left to take Austin to his school, I asked dad to go into the front yard for pictures. Oh, yes, just like the first day of school, my dad had to stand in the front of the house and smile for pictures - we needed to commemorate this day - his first day back at work!

(picture to come soon!)

So, as Austin attends his last days of preschool for the year... my dad goes back to his first days. I am so proud of them both.

All Grown Up

2010-05-18T06:55:00.000-07:00

These are the Bugg kids - all grown up.

Emily, Adam, and Jenny

I am at my parents for the week visiting... because, honestly, I just can't get enough of these folks :)

Precious Avery!

2010-05-15T06:28:00.001-07:00

Precious Avery!

I wanted to continue my post from last Thursday - my precious nieces and the gift that they are to our family. These are the many beautiful faces of Avery.

Psalms 33:18
But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love.

Psalms 71:5
"For you have been my hope, O Sovereign LORD, my confidence since my youth."

Proverbs 13:12
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

Jeremiah 17:7
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."

I Samuel 1:27
"I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."

He Teaches Me Everyday!

2010-05-12T17:18:00.000-07:00

Austin and I have re-started devotions together every night before bedtime. I am the queen of good intentions, and over the past four years, we have been faithful about reading and praying before bed every night, but not always faithful about reading and discussing God’s Word!

This past Sunday while visiting my sister’s church, the pastor’s sermon tugged at my heart about my consistency with Austin reading the Bible every single day – and my responsibility as his mom to instill God’s Word in his life.

Fortunately for me, Austin is in a wonderful stage where he absolutely loves stories – and particularly Bible stories. I am also so grateful that he has a sharp memory. He remembers things that I forget we even talked about, and it never fails that I learn tremendous spiritual lessons from my four-year-old son!

For Example:

As we made a long drive this past weekend, Austin looked out the car window and up to the clouds. “Mom, where is heaven?” He asked.

“Well, sweetheart, no one really knows. So, most people just point up to the clouds and imagine that heaven must be up there since it is so far away.” I replied, wondering if he would comprehend any of my answer.

“And God lives in heaven, right?” He asked.

“Yes, sweetheart. Mommy and Daddy believe that God lives in heaven, but He is also everywhere. He is all around us at the same time.”

“And He lives in fire, right mom?”

I immediately thought of our assumptions and teachings about heaven v. hell.

“Fire? Why do you think that God lives in fire, buddy?” I asked.

“Because that is how Moses saw him.” He answered definitively.

And immediately I thought of the story of the burning bush. “Oh, bud. I guess that you are right. God did appear to Moses in the form of fire.”

“And didn’t God use fire for the people mom. You know, the people when they were walking?”

“Austin, are you talking about how God used fire to guide the Israelites out of Egypt?”

“Yes, mom.” He stated in matter-of-factly. “And… he continued. Didn’t he live in fire in his house?”

“Are you talking about the tabernacle?” I asked.

“Yes, mom.”

“Well, buddy. I guess that you are right. God does use fire to show himself to people in the Bible. I just didn’t know that you remembered all of those stories.”

How am I going to keep up with this one???

So last night, I decided that we would just focus on the classic story of David and Goliath.

We read from a children’s Bible and then I asked Austin if there was anyone that he wanted to pray for.

“No.” he said. “Just mommy, daddy, and Austin.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” I said. “That’s fine. You pray for Mommy, Daddy, and Austin and I am going to pray for Grandpa again tonight. He is still fighting against cancer – just like David fought against that big giant, Goliath. Your grandpa is fighting a big disease right now, and we need to pray that he will win.”

“Don’t worry, mom.” Austin said. “David didn’t have any trouble at all beating that giant.”

And this was his prayer.

“Dear Jesus,

Thank you for this day. I hope you pray for Mommy, Daddy, and Austin. I pray for Grandpa that you would help him fight against cancer. And I thank you so much that my grocery store sells lime sherbet. Please help them to always sell lime sherbet.

In Jesus’ name.

Amen.”

Needing Sleep!

2010-05-10T19:40:00.000-07:00

Just a picture tonight. I hope to share some stories soon.

But, I need some sleep :)

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-09T18:46:00.000-07:00

We have all had a wonderful Mother's Day together!

This picture will give evidence to the fact that I am truly my mother's daughter.

If you know me well, there is little doubt in your mind about how much I love and respect my mom! I know that I can talk to her about anything, ask her advice about everything, and trust her beyond comprehension. When I wanted to redecorate my home, my mom was the first person I called. She bought me my first table saw, taught me how to use it, and then helped me renovate my entire house. Soon, my friends were calling asking me if I could ask my mom how to...

When Austin was born, a series of traumatic moments led to an unexpected c-section. My mom stood by my side throughout the ordeal and for (almost the entire) six weeks following. I felt such anxiety about having a newborn at the time, that I remember thinking, "I guess my mom will just have to raise Austin until he is 16, and then I will take him back!" I am proud to say that I was able to handle a newborn, but not without much advice and encouragement from my mom.

The deepest imprints my mom has left upon my life have little to do with big events, however. Growing up, I remember finding mom on the back porch - drinking her coffee and reading her Bible. It was the quiet moments when she sat writing thank you notes that impressed my heart more than the grandest moments of watching her paint in front of a crowd of hundreds. There is no doubt my mom is a very gifted artist, but more than her skill, my mom sincerely desires to be a Godly woman.

Her Bible carries a list of names, and as I once looked over the list, I noticed that it was a list of people she met at church. She didn't want to forget the names of those she shook hands with on Sunday morning. Over the past few months during Dad's hospitalization, mom kept a running list of every nurse who served Dad. She jotted notes to remember some of their likes, interests, or conversations. She is going to be so embarrassed that I even noticed such a thing - much less wrote about it on my blog. However, unlike others, my blog is for the next generation. I pray that these notes will serve as a testimony to Austin someday of his family... His Faith... His Life. I want him to know his grandparents.

And of all the things that my mom loves, perhaps she loves nothing more than being a grandma!

Mom, I love you so much. I hope that you know how blessed we feel to have been selected to be your children and grandchildren.

Love,

Emily

Miss Megan

2010-05-05T18:47:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, this has been a very difficult year in the life of our family.

In October, however, two precious girls were born right in the midst of some of our greatest pain. So many verses remind me of God's faithfulness to our family in the midst of hardship. As I look into the faces of both Megan and Avery (now 6 months old), I am reminded of the Lord's faithfulness in the midst of pain.

I also LOVE having two nieces as new models for my growing interest in photography. Today, I would love to share some new pictures of Megan and tomorrow I will share Avery!

I hope that these verses and pictures will bring you great joy!

"Merciful and faithful Lord, because of Your great love I am not consumed, for Your compassions are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him." Lord, You are good those whose hope is in You, to the one who seeks You." Lamentations 3:22-25

"You, Soverign Lord, are my strength; You make my feet like the feet of a deer, You enable me to go ont he heights." Habbakkuk 3:17-19

"Lord, I don't want to waver through unbelief regarding Your promises, but I desire to be strengthened in my faith and give glory to You, God, being fully persuaded that You have power to do what you promise." Romans 4:20-21

I cry out to you, "God Most High, to You who fulfills Your purpose for me. You send from heaven and save me, rebuking those who hotly pursue me. You send Your love and Your faithfulness." Psalm 57:2-3

"We often see ourselves as fragile, breakable souls. We live in fear of that which we are certain we can't survive. As children of God, we are only as fragile as our unwillingness to turn and hide our face in Him. Our pride alone is fragile. Once its shell is broken and the heart is laid bare, we can sense the caress of God's tender care. Until then, He holds us just the same." - Beth Moore

Sweetest Six-Month-Old Girls!

2010-05-02T20:02:00.000-07:00

A second post tonight is necessary.

Guess who I got to spend the day with?

I have the sweetest nieces you could ever imagine.

Can I???

2010-05-02T19:00:00.000-07:00

Can I tell you?

How surreal it feels to be done with PhD classes...

Can I tell you?

How many times I ate at Joe T's this past week...

Can I tell you?

How much fun we had at Austin and Andrew's combined bday family party today...

Can I tell you?

How good it feels to be home :)

2010-04-30T06:43:00.000-07:00

For as the soil makes the sprout come up

and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.
Isaiah 61:11

I love this series of pictures of Austin taken last week at his Granny and Grandaddy's house.

I especially love this last picture. Austin sitting there staring at his flower - waiting for it to grow right before his very eyes.

Too often, I expect to see God's hand - growth from a situation - right away. Instead, I need to wait, allow God to work in his timing, allow the situation to change slowly.

The Scripture at the top of the page is from a beautiful text located in Isaiah 61.

One of the passages that I have memorized this year is Isaiah 61:3

[The Lord will] provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

I will Go Alone if Needed!!!

2010-04-28T20:05:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, I arrived in Texas! Since the "Big Move of 2010" that took place in January (along with my husband's "special" medical procedure), this is my first time back in Texas. If you haven't heard the story of our January move, I promise to record some of it here to trigger my memory in years to come. The short story is that my very sick husband and I flew to Texas to January to pack up our home and move across the country. There are so many aspects of the story that still make me laugh out loud just thinking about.

I will be staying with one of my oldest and dearest Texas friends for the next few days while I work on my last PhD presentation! As I was driving towards Fort Worth tonight, I was able to just think back and focus on so many wonderful memories made in this city. James and I had our first apartment here, our first ministry together with college students, lifelong friendships, etc. I called James to tell him I had safely arrived. "Where are you?" he asked. I told him the exact location. "Where are you headed?" He asked. "Joe T. Garcia's!" was my immediate response. "Oh, are you meeting some friends there?" He continued. "No, my plans changed for the night, so I am just heading there myself."

And James just laughed. For if you know me well at all, you understand that nothing in the world will stop me from eating at Joe T. Garcia's as much as possible during my short weekend stay in town. So, tonight I sat by the fountain (the pool), worked on my paper, and enjoyed the very best chicken fajitas known to mankind!

After the dinner that will change my life, I headed towards Hillary's house and spent the evening laughing, talking, and finally catching up on life!

On Saturday, I will attend my last official PhD class! I hope that the exclamation marks indicate on some level my excitement. As many of you know, I have been working on my PhD for the past three years. I finish my coursework this semester and move on towards my internship, comps, and dissertation phase. It is so hard to believe that three years have already come and gone.

And just because I cannot go a day without sharing my boy with you, here is a picture of Austin last week while planing flowers with Granny!

Congratulations!!!

2010-04-27T19:43:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, we celebrated the retirement of my father-in-law, Dr. Q, from 35 years of research and teaching at the University of Florida.

The Entire Q Family (James, Emily, Mom Q, Ken, Austin, Dave, and Kendra)

I am honored to be a part of the Q family, especially with a father-in-law like Ken. As we celebrated his time at UF with a grand reception (and delicious food), friends and co-workers stood to tell stories about Ken's time at the university. Almost all of the stories include praise for Ken's passion for teaching and his love for God and his family. Now as his daughter, I can attest that Ken truly loves God, his family and teaching.

Congratulations, Grandaddy! We are all so proud of you!

The wonderful table of food for the celebration

Grandaddy and Austin rocking in Grandaddy's new University of Florida rocking chair

I love this picture of James and Austin having a "daddy-son" moment during the reception.

Pirate Pajamas

2010-04-26T20:02:00.001-07:00

This picture shows you just a hint of the excitement on our little one's face on his birthday eve. On Saturday, James and I took Austin to Orlando for his birthday celebration. We had a wonderful afternoon exploring Downtown Disney and swimming at the hotel pool.

Throughout the day, Austin was allowed to open various small gifts that I brought along for his birthday weekend. By late Saturday night, he had opened three small toys to play with throughout the afternoon. On Saturday night, I told him that he could open one more present! (I had picked out the special birthday pajamas he is wearing in the picture.)

As he opened the box, he looked up at me.

"CLOTHES????" He exclaimed in absolute horror. "Mom, where are the toys?"

"Austin." James reprimanded. "What do you say to your mommy for your gift?"

Austin just stared at the box.

"Austin." James reprimanded again.

"But, Dad, It's just clothes!" Austin tried to explain.

"Austin. What do you say to your mommy for your gift?" James said in a firmer voice.

And as Austin stared down at the box, I could tell that he was mustering up all of his energy. Detesting the words that were about to come out of his mouth. And, I couldn't help but giggle as he finally said...

"Thank you, mom."

I pulled Austin into my lap. "You are so welcome, sweetheart." And then I explained. I explained how special I wanted him to feel on his birthday eve in new pajamas. I explained how I picked them out because he loved pirates. I explained how comfy they would feel.

And soon, he was thrilled. Thrilled to be wearing birthday pajamas. Jumping on his own bed in our hotel room. Thrilled to be turning four!

We tucked Austin into bed, said prayers, and reminded him... "When you wake up in the morning, sweetheart, you are going to be FOUR!!"

After a long pause, Austin looked up a me and finally asked, "Mom, when I wake up, will I have a different voice?"

Oh, sweet boy, you never cease to bring a smile to my face with your deductions. "Yes," I said, "When you wake up, you will have the same voice. You will have the same ears. You will have the same nose and the same smile. You will feel the same sweetheart. You might be a tiny bit taller, but you will be the exact same Austin. You will just be four instead of three!"

"Oh..." you replied. And then you cuddled into bed in your new pirate pajamas.

FOUR!!!

2010-04-26T06:41:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe that Austin is FOUR!

We had such a wonderful family weekend celebrating this precious boy's life. I cannot wait to share all the fun.

In the meantime, I am working on a paper due this weekend and promise to post pictures and posts as often as I can!

A Post Called Procrastination

2010-04-22T14:28:00.000-07:00

We have had a busy week - swimming, playing, and learning. As I type, Austin is running around the room chasing a balloon. We are having a discussion about whether or not he wants pink balloons at his family birthday party. His fourth birthday is THIS WEEK! I cannot believe that four years have already come and gone. It seems like only yesterday I was preparing a nursery and sorting baby clothes by sizes (newborn, 3-6 months, etc.) Now Austin is wearing all 5T clothes and size 11 1/2 shoes!

Austin spent the morning at Granny and Grandaddy's house while I went to a meeting, and then we came home and ate lunch together. We went swimming at the pool after lunch, and now I am trying to finish filling out all the paperwork for new jobs and new schools next year! Austin will hopefully attend our local church preschool where I will (hopefully!) work. I want to finish up these applications to turn them all in by tomorrow! I have missed teaching so much over the past year and look forward to being back in the classroom soon.

While Austin swam this afternoon, I did a lot of reading by the pool. I have a paper due for my last PhD class this coming week - and my last class presentation next weekend. Of course I am behind on my work, but somehow it always gets completed by the deadline.

Rather than writing or cleaning the house this afternoon, however, I decided that I would update the blog. As I stop every minute to help Austin with a new task, however, I am reminded why I normally only update my blog after he goes to bed. While writing the last three paragraphs, I have also helped complete four pages in a sticker book, blown up all the pink balloons (since they won't be needed at his family birthday party this weekend), and oooohhhed and ahhhhed over the creation he has made out of matchbox cars.

Tomorrow we will be at the University of Florida to attend the retirement party for my father-in-law. I will have lots of pictures! Dr. Q has worked at UF for the past 36 years, and we are all so proud of all the work he has done. We will have a fun day celebrating his retirement. (Perhaps he doesn't mind the color pink for his celebration.... mmmm...)

On Saturday, James and I are surprising Austin with a trip about two hours south. (Just imagine what city is approximately two hours south of Gainesville and you will know the surprise!) We are last minute planners, and last night James was able to use his Delta sky miles to book a hotel at a very fancy place. We are all very excited. We aren't planning to go into any parks, but just being in the area of "the mouse" will make Austin thrilled! James and I also know how to do a day of Disney for free while making Austin think he has experienced the true Disney World (see previous posts).

I am planning to spend a lot of time by the pool of our fancy hotel (oh, yes, while working on that dreaded paper). We will be back on Sunday for Austin's birthday party with James' side of the family. Austin informed me today that he is very excited about his party and all the "amazing presents that he is going to receive" (yes, those were his exact words). So, my dear in-laws, I hope that you are prepared. My son apparently has very high expectations for his birthday, and they do not include the color pink.

"Things I Don't Want to Forget"

2010-04-20T19:14:00.001-07:00

"Things I Don't Want to Forget"

Follow Up Post:

Tonight Austin was having a hard time falling asleep. I asked him if he would like to crawl into bed with me for a few minutes before going back to his room. I told him that he was welcome in my bed for five minutes, but he had to lay still and he could not tell me to change the channel. :)

I was working on my computer glancing up at The Biggest Loser every few minutes. He stayed quiet until he sat up, pointed to the TV and yelled, "Hey mom, aren't you trying to lose weight too???"

"Well, yes, honey... but..."

"Looks like you need to go on the Biggest Loser, mom." He stated proudly.

Dear Austin, I liked it better when you told mommy that you didn't want me to get any smaller!

Other recent Austin-isms:

- Whenever you are doing something you are especially proud of, you say, "Mom, look at me ____. (for example, "Mom, look at me color!") and then you say, "You aren't going to be able to resist this!"

- You are a little encourager, but sometimes it is pretty funny. For example, I might pour you a glass of milk and instead of just saying "thank you," you will say, "Wow! Great job pouring that milk, mom!"

- You always ask me how long something is going to take. (i.e. "Mom, how long does it take to drive to the mall?") When I respond, "Five minutes," you always ask, "Mom, did you say minutes or hours???" I will say, "Minutes. Five minutes." Then you will say, "That's not long. Minutes aren't long at all. Hours are LOOOOOOONG."

- We have some close friends who live in our new town that have three sons. You used to call them, "The Three Brothers" now you call them, "My brothers." I love it!

(Two of "the brothers")

- We recently stayed with Aunt Jenny at her house to avoid spreading germs to grandma and grandpa. That night, you got a little overwhelmed about staying at a new place. "Mom, please just take me to Grandma and Grandpa's house," you said. "I promise that I will just go straight to my room and put all my germs right on the bed."

- Your favorite Biblical character right now is Moses. Every night when I pick up the Bible to read you a story, you want to read about Moses. Last night, I decided to read you the story of Noah and the Ark. You loved the story, and even knew it well, but whenever I would say Noah's name, you would reply, "You mean Moses, mom."

"No Austin," I would reply. "This story is about a man named Noah."

"Well, I am just going to pretend that his name is Moses."

- You used to name all of your stuffed animals after their sound (i.e. Mr. Quack Quack, Mr. Moo, etc.). Now you name everything after yourself. "What should we name this lego man," I ask? "Mmmm... we'll just name him Austin." You will reply.

So to Mr. Austin and all the Mr. Austins in my house, I love you forever and love all your funny sayings!

I want to be Little!

2010-04-19T18:40:00.000-07:00

Approximately 12 weeks ago, I joined several friends in a new adventure - Weight Watchers. Over the past three years, I have put on some extra pounds with the fun of motherhood, moving, studying, writing, teaching, and just living life!

Every Thursday morning, I meet my sister and our friend Nicole for a quick weigh-in. Instead of being good members and attending the meetings, however, the three of us always end up skipping the meeting and going out for a big breakfast! You would think this would be counter-productive, but I am thrilled to report that I have lost 15 pounds!

A few weeks ago, Austin asked me if he could make some popcorn. Searching our pantry, he came across several different boxes of popcorn in all shapes and sizes. "Mom-ma?" He yelled from the kitchen. "Why do we have so many boxes of popcorn?"

I came into the kitchen and tried to explain to him that Daddy has some popcorn that he likes to eat (i.e. lots of butter) and I have other popcorn that I like to eat.

As with all things in my house of Austin, this short explanation of mine led to a never ending gunfire of questions about why Daddy and I don't eat the same popcorn.

Trying to simplify the conversation to get on with life, I finally just said, "Austin, mommy is trying to become little again, and that means I can't eat daddy's popcorn."

A few days later we picked up a scale at Walmart - and the numerous questions about scales from my cart led me to state, "Austin, mommy just wants to see if I am getting smaller."

Yesterday afternoon, I weighed myself and realized that I had reached a goal on my scale. In my excitement I yelled out, "James, come look at this scale! Whooo Hoooo!

Austin looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "Mommy, I don't want you to become little. Please stop getting little."

"Austin, why don't you want me to get little?" I asked in confusion, but also hope that my three-year-old already understands the beauty of a woman's soul rather than her figure. Maybe he already understands that his mommy is beautiful just the way she is... but then... he answered my question.

"Because mommy, if you become a little girl again, then you can't be my mommy."

And suddenly, I realized what he has been thinking all these weeks. I have been using the wrong word!

"Oh, Austin, mommy isn't going to become little - or younger, sweetheart. By little, I mean skinny or smaller HERE - (pointing to my waist)."

And Austin looked at me (absolutely relieved) and said, "Oh, that's fine mom. You can get as little as you want."

Weekend???

2010-04-18T08:17:00.001-07:00

Where did your weekend go?

Ours flew by...

New Life - b/c we have lots of living to do!

2010-04-17T19:43:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, this has been a year of transition and heartache for our family. We have faced obstacles that seemed too costly, too devastating, and too challenging at the time. Only months later would we be able to see how God's hand directed during the most difficult days of our lives so far. We sold our home in Texas, left our jobs, said goodbye to precious friends and moved. Fortunately, we were all able to move... HOME. There is something so comforting in that word... HOME.

For the past nine months, Austin and I have been living with my parents as James tied up loose ends in Texas. January looked like a fresh start and a new opportunity to live together in a new place... and then we received word of my Dad's diagnosis. Cancer.

The word Cancer changes your life. The priorities of our family were brought to light as James and I discussed the best living options of the new year. Austin and I would remain with my parents - helping in any possible way on the home front while my mom and dad lived at the hospital for months at a time.

On Good Friday my Dad received great news - he was dismissed from the bone marrow unit of Moffitt Cancer Institute and told to go HOME! Once again, there is something so healing about this place - this place we all call home.

The Easter weekend brought ideas of the resurrection and redemption to greater understanding in all of our hearts and lives this year. Dad's bone marrow transplant gave him new life. Redemption was also taking place among our immediate family of three. It is time to start fresh - to start anew. To bring new life into that which was thought dead.

The practical needs of my family, Dad's health and his weak immune system, prompted discussions of moving for the little one and me. We will continue to live in two places. We are lucky in this sense. Austin and I have two places to call HOME. To honor our first weekend "living" in Gator country, however, we celebrated. We took Austin to his very first Gator game (the Orange and Blue Game) and we had a swim party with our precious friends.

I look forward to all the new life that the future holds for all of our family.

Buying tickets for the Orange and Blue Game

Austin at his first Gator game. (AJ covers his ears at any loud sound, so we decided it is best for him to use earplugs!)

Our precious new friends over to swim

This weekend, everyone was well enough for us to visit Dad! Austin was able to be near Grandpa for the first time without my dad having to wear a mask!

A Full Heart and a Full Pool!

2010-04-13T19:27:00.000-07:00

Last week, Nicole, Jenny, Sharon, Carrie and I decided to take the kids to the pool!

My sister's dear friend, Carrie, was actually on vacation from her own family (and her hysterical life with four children) - but we roped her into going to the pool with us. I am so glad that she was able to sneak away to a corner of the pool for a ~~restful~~ ~~relaxing~~ ~~quiet~~ time.

Our hands were full with three babies and three toddlers, but we had such a wonderful afternoon together enjoying the sun and the kids.

I have so many pictures to share from our day at the pool (and more recent pictures of another day at the pool). Just looking at the pictures makes my heart so full.

Night Day at the Museum

2010-04-10T12:46:00.001-07:00

When Austin was recently on Spring Break from school, we decided to visit our local art museum.

We spent the morning walking through galleries, pointing to pictures, talking about colors, and showing Austin his first Monet!!!

Honestly, I was a bit surprised that he seemed to enjoy a "grown-up" art museum, but I want to try to make the most of every opportunity with Austin - to explore his talents, to allow him to dream, to encourage him to find his passions in life.

We found a toy table where Austin could build his own "sculpture," and he was thrilled.

I sat on a bench for at least thirty minutes while Austin played - putting different pieces in different places to make the "perfect" piece of art.

"Look, mom!" He said as he turned around his piece. I just made one beautiful piece of art!"

He doesn't lack for self-confidence or pride in his work.

As we left the museum heading back towards our car, Austin looked up at the "real sculpture."

"Yes," he said to himself under his breath. "Their sculpture almost looks as good as mine."

I enjoyed our day at the art museum, sweet boy, and I cannot wait to see what you create next!

To Spark the Memory Later!

2010-04-07T18:42:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel a bit behind?

Does it ever seem to you that your mind runs faster than you are able to keep up?

That is how I feel about blogging lately. A million things that I want to write, to store, to remember for Austin, but not having the time to sit and write down all the thoughts.

And so, I feel as if my blogs of late mention things: I want to talk about Easter traditions, I want to do a post on forgiveness, I want to talk about Andrew and Austin's "yes/ no" battle that had me laughing out loud... but then, I am so busy enjoying the moments with Austin, James, and my family, that I fall into bed at night without blogging all of my thoughts.

So tonight, just some pictures... and hopefully they will spur me on to record the stories someday soon :)

Oh... and by the way, in case you don't read my dad's blog from his cancer journey, HE IS HOME! AT HIS HOME! RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL AND TRANSITIONAL HOUSING! PRAISE THE LORD. What a wonderful Easter surprise!

The Things you Say

2010-04-03T20:07:00.000-07:00

The Things you Say:

Dear Austin,

As the beginning of April appeared, I was brought to the sudden realization that you are about to turn four years old! At the end of the month, it will be four years since I gave birth to you - my beautiful son. The past four years have been the most challenging and rewarding years of my life so far, and I have grown as a woman of God because of the things that you teach me on a daily basis. I am so honored to be your mom.

You not only stretch me as a person, you make me laugh out loud every day. I love our moments together, and there are so many Austin-isms that I don't want to ever forget. Here are just a few of your recent quotes:

- Nocturnal. You are completely fascinated with the word "nocturnal." Several months ago, you and I were reading a book about bats (I think) and I mentioned the word and meaning of nocturnal. You did not forget. Last week when I asked you to get ready for bed, you said, "Mom, I am not going to bed tonight. I have decided that I am going to be nocturnal. I am going to start staying awake all night and sleeping through the day instead." You were very serious about your plan - but I made you go to bed anyway.

Whenever you learn about new animals, you want to know if they are nocturnal. You also ask me on a regular basis to list animals for you that are nocturnal. I hate to admit that I typically give you the same list over and over again. "Bats, raccoons... um..." and then I normally change the subject because I keep forgetting to google "nocturnal animals."

Tomorrow morning is Easter. I love Easter. I want to do an entire post about our Easter traditions and meanings. Tonight, however, I simply asked you if you wanted to put your Easter basket outside by the front door so the Easter bunny could hop by and leave you eggs. You paused for a long time before looking at me straight in the eyes, "So mom, are you saying that the Easter bunny is nocturnal????"

So, from now on, my list will be "bats, raccoons, the Easter bunny... um..."

Inside-Out. This is one of my favorite Austin-isms. Instead of saying that something is inside-out. You say that it is "outside-in." I will ask you to go get dressed and you will come out and say, "Mom, can you help me with this shirt. It is "outside-in." I don't correct you because I absolutely love hearing you say it wrong. Well, the other day, I was watching the news and there was a news story about something being "inside out." You laughed out loud. You kept saying, "Inside out? What in the world does that mean? That is the funniest thing I have ever heard. Inside out.... Inside out..." I didn't tell you the truth because I don't want you to stop saying it like you do - "outside in."

New words that we have just started noticing you use this week:

- If I ask you a yes or no question, you always say "yes, indeed!" instead of just yes!

- This morning you started using the word "suspect." We were working on your train table and you said, "Mom, I suspect that you are going to need some more straight pieces."

When you use new words like this, Austin, I typically laugh out loud and say, "Austin, where in the world did you learn that word?" You catch me off guard! You typically shrug your shoulders and say, "I don't know, mom. I don't know where I learned that word." OR... you mention a cartoon that I recently allowed you to watch in order to get some personal time for myself and suddenly I no longer have mommy guilt about placing you in front of the tv on occasion. So, thanks for having such a great memory.

I love you, and I want you to know how precious and precocious you were at three!

Mommy

His Most Recent Smile

2010-03-28T12:26:00.000-07:00

"A man's face is his autobiography." - Oscar Wilde

What does Austin's face say about him lately???

These are just a few of the faces I receive lately when I ask Austin to smile for a picture.

And my personal favorite from this week!

Look at that face! He looks like a grumpy old man!!!

So, until he stops this new phase of "smiling during photo ops" my blog might have to focus on landscapes for awhile!

This time of year

2010-03-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

I love this time of year.

I love the sunshine.

I love the blooming flowers.

I love the colors.

I love the thoughts about Easter and resurrection.

I love this time of year.

A Mom to a Boy

2010-03-25T17:56:00.000-07:00

I will be honest.

It is very hard to get a good, focused picture of the boys these days. At almost 4 and 5 years old - Austin and Andrew spend their days at full speed.

Running...

Playing...

Sliding...

They do everything at full speed, and they love to do everything together.

I want to be faithful to my calling - my calling as a mother to a boy! I want to instill in him character, integrity, passion, and a love for Christ. As I watch him run, and jump, and play... I realize that I get to play a role in the man he is becoming. I get to play a part of this "brotherhood" that Austin will have with other men.

I cannot help but think of the Biblical characters of David and Jonathan as I watch Austin and Andrew play. I think of a friendship that promotes deep love. Sacrificial love. I watch the tears that flow from Austin's face as I put him in my car to go home for the night. "I just want to keep playing with my cousin, mom..." He will cry. "I just love him so much."

And even though we won't always live fifteen minutes apart, I want to foster that bond between Austin and his cousin. My prayer is that someday Austin will feel comfortable being accountable, being Godly, being a man of character among other young men.

I have watched as my husband's relationships with other Godly men has been a lifeline during a difficult nine months. In the midst of poor personal decisions, James' two best friends (the two men who stood by his side on our wedding day as best men) have now - (seven years later) stood up to provide encouragement, accountability, and even work! They have been Godly men of character providing relief and friendship to my husband during very difficult days. I am so thankful for John and Kevin.

And as I think, I realize that I was(am) honored to know both John and Kevin's moms. Looking at the lives of these incredible women of faith, it is little wonder that John and Kevin grew into such compassionate and honorable men. And then I think... I get to play a role in this brotherhood. I get to be a mom to a boy! I get to have a son!

As Austin and Andrew run, and jump, and play (too quickly for me to even get a good picture), I pray that I will be a mother who fosters growth... in every area of my precious son's life.

Help Needed... Perhaps simply because I would spend my time blogging about such an issue...

2010-03-24T20:08:00.000-07:00

*** This post has been heavily requested by several of my readers. (Okay, two of my closest girlfriends asked to see pictures of my new cut, but whatever...) With all of the serious events of the past year, I need to just sit and talk about something trivial - something like my hair!

Girls,

I need to talk... and since most of you now live far away, let's talk about it right here on this "mommy blog."

I need to talk about hair!

Last Tuesday, I finally got my hair cut. As women, we understand how important a haircut can make us feel. Feeling a little sporty? How about a cute ponytail? Sassy? What about a short bob that bounces when you walk? Tired? Let's just throw on a hat - or my trick... a headband AND a ponytail. (For some reason, I feel that a headband + ponytail distracts you from noticing that I haven't washed my hair that day... or two days). Cutesy? I have seen some of you pull off some very cute pigtails.

I was feeling sassy (I suppose) and asked my hairdresser for a cute bob cut... a cut that I had noticed on an adorable mom at the baseball fields a few nights earlier.

It's not terrible, but it is short. And, it has eliminated my classic "part on the side and pull everything else back into a ponytail" option.

Exibit A: Taken two weeks ago.

And here is the new cut:

Please ignore the cheesy ""smile at yourself in a mirror while taking a picture look" - and the no makeup look.

It's not bad - right? But, I have an issue with it. I am not a "one side of hair hanging in your face" kind of girl. I have a three-year-old. I spend my time on the floor playing with matchbox cars. I climb over children in the backseat to buckle seatbelts and find pacifiers (see today's earlier post). I need my hair back and out of my face.

So, for the past eight days, I have been pulling that long side back in a clip:

Exhibit B:

Again, not too bad. With appropriate facial expressions and makeup - I could get away with this look.

So, I decided to put on some makeup and ask Austin to take my picture. He gladly obliged, and this photo gives full evidence to my current issue.

Exhibit C:

By the time I put on my makeup (that is all I did!) My hair was completely flat!

Girls, I lived in Texas for ten years! This is not acceptable.

So, I immediately went back into my bathroom and grabbed my hairspray (hey, it worked on my bangs in the '80s). I spent some time poofing and fluffing.

Spent another few minutes trying to perfect my smile in the mirror look.

(none of which were successful)

Finally just tucked my hair behind my ears...

and actually tried to do something productive with my day.

Why is it so hard to be a woman sometimes???

What do you use to give volume to your hair??? Especially living in Florida???

Okay, I am going to go to bed NOW! After all, with this new haircut, I am going to have to wake up extra early to poof and fluff...

A Beautiful Day

2010-03-24T09:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning, I went into my dad's office for a few hours to get some work done. it was a beautiful morning, and I was thankful for some quiet time alone in prayer and Bible study.

The start of a beautiful day.

By noon, I had Megan, Andrew, and Austin all in the backseat of my sister's car (my Honda won't hold all three car seats) on our way to lunch.

"I want McDonald's" said Austin (in full excitement) when I told the boys they could pick our lunch destination for the day.

"Well, I want Chick-fil-A." Andrew said - just as excited.

And then it began...

"McDonald's"

"No, Chick-fil-A"

"No! McDonald's"

"CHICK-FIL-A!"

Until I just decided to break in. "Okay, guys, this is the way I see it. Chick-fil-A has much better food, but McDonald's has much better toys. So, which will it be... better food or better toys?

And within seconds we were on our way to McDonald's.

We drove to Grandma and Grandpa's house, and by 1:00 pm, the boys were fed, Megan was fed, Megan was sound asleep, and the boys were happily playing together with matchbox cars while watching a movie.

I decided to get some housework done and even spent some time outside vaccuming the pool. "Wow, I thought to myself. What an absolutely beautiful day. Three kids isn't so bad. I could have more kids. I have this in the bag."

And you can probably tell where this blog post is going...

Since Jenny offered to spend the afternoon with Mom and Dad at the hospital, I thought through my afternoon options.

"Boys, how would you like to spend the afternoon at the beach?" I asked.

"Let's go NOW!!!" they screamed! and within the next hour we were packed, dressed, and ready for an afternoon at the beach playground.

It was an absolutely beautiful afternoon at the beach...

AND THEN... It was time to go.

The rest of this post is dedicated to my sister and maintains the form of her recent post here...

Promise the boys italian ice for being so good at the beach.
Get two boys into car.
They are both mad about having to leave beach playground.
Tell them to stop complaining or we will not be able to come back to beach.
Get Megan out of stroller.
Put Megan in car seat that has one two many buckles and straps.
Put stroller in trunk that is 20 pounds too heavy.
Help Andrew buckle seat belt.
Did it wrong.
Do it again.
He yells that He can do it himself.
Austin screams because Andrew yelled.
Tell Austin that we are not getting Italian ice due to his screaming.
Austin starts crying hysterically.
Megan starts crying.
Try to find Megan's pacifier.
It is missing.
Buckle them all in anyway and decide to let them all cry themselves to sleep.
Look at my cell phone.
Missed seven texts from James.
Can't text him back. Driving.
Can't call him back. Screaming.
Austin stops crying.
Pleads his case for italian ice.
It is actually a good argument.
Megan continues screaming.
No paci to be found.
Pull into italian ice store.
Pull car over to call James.
Hear seat belts start to unbuckle.
Car steering wheel is locked.
Can't get car in park.
Take foot slowly off break.
Car starts going in reverse.
Dash board is flashing "theft."
Cannot remove keys.
Finally get car in park.
Tell the boys to stay in their seats.
Try to call James. No answer.

ACCIDENTLY HIT MY SISTER'S SPEED DIAL NUMBER.

Climb into backseat.
search for paci.
Megan screaming.
Lift Megan out of seat.
Find paci.
Realize the keys are missing.
Can't find keys.
Beg both boys to search car to help me find keys.
FINALLY find keys.
Megan still crying.
Don't know why.
Tell boys to stop climbing in the front seat.
Strongly encourage boys to get in back seat.
Lose patience and tell boys to get in back seat or no italian ice.
Andrew can't find his seatbelt.
Climb over Austin to help him find it.
Look at Austin directly in eyes.
State firmly. "DO NOT KICK MOMMY ONE MORE TIME. IT HURTS."
Finally get Andrew buckled.
Andrew tells me I did it wrong.
Look at Andrew directly in the eyes.
Say for the first time to a child, "Are you kidding me?"
Buckle Andrew's seat belt correctly.
Buckle Austin's seat belt.
Get in car.
Drive into line for italian ice.
Read menu to kids.
Pick up phone to call James again.
Phone says, "Jennifer... TIME 6:05"
Put phone to ear.
"Jenny???"
Hear my sister laughing.
Realization sets in.
"Have you been listening for the last six minutes?" I ask in shame.
Jenny laughing.
"I couldn't stop, she says... it was like a bad soap opera."
Realize I had my own form of nanny cam for the worst six minutes of parenting I've had recently.

Wonder if I will ever be allowed to babysit again.
Yet, it was still... a beautiful day.

Curious Boys and their Boat

2010-03-22T07:52:00.001-07:00

A few days ago, Austin was reading his Curious George Anthology and came across a story where Curious George builds a boat!

He brought me the book and said, "Mom, we have to find a newspaper, and we have to build this boat!"

Fortunately, Austin's Aunt Kendra was more than eager to help Austin follow the instructions - and together, they built a newspaper boat.

Can you tell how proud Austin is in this picture?

We brought the boat home (all the way from Gainesville to Clearwater) trying to keep it very safe. As soon as Austin saw his cousin, Andrew, he screamed, "Andrew, I built a boat!"

Andrew and Austin decided that it would be a good idea to float the boat in the pool at Grandma's house.

And... although I had my doubts, that newspaper boat - actually floated for a LONG TIME!

Just long enough, in fact, for the boys to decide to change into swimsuits and go into grandma's pool.

So thank you, Aunt Kendra, for helping this little face light up with absolute delight!

Lost and Found

2010-03-17T12:58:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in a new room on 3W - the bone marrow unit at dad's hospital. We had had an emotional few days. Yesterday, Dad's numbers soared high enough for him to be released from the hospital. Today, after a fainting spell, he was readmitted to the hospital for an indefinite amount of time. We are all pretty exhausted from the roller coaster of emotions cancer carries.

-----------

This morning, I woke Austin up early to get ready for school.

"Mom, I am so tired. Let's just sleep." He said without even opening his eyes.

I am used to Austin's morning drama, as he already acts like a teenager in the mornings - pulling his covers over his head and begging for more sleep.

"Austin, today is St. Patrick's Day." I replied. "Maybe you will have a special treat at school." I hoped that my term "special treat" would somehow lure the little one into the light of day.

He paused for a second. "Mom," he replied. "There is no St. Patrick in my class... and even if he did come today... and even if he did bring cupcakes for his birthday, I would rather just stay home with you."

"Well, okay!" I said, as we both rolled back over and went back to sleep.

Two hours later (!!!), Austin woke up and was ready for his history lesson.

-----------

I didn't mind sleeping in this morning myself as we both had a late night getting dad situated into his "transitional apartment." As I type this now, Mom is back at the apartment packing up her belongings once again for hospital life. Dad has been pushed away to the ends of the hospital for CT scans and x-rays. Please keep praying.

-----------

This past weekend, we were able to spend some time in G'ville visiting James. We had a wonderful weekend and I wanted to share some pictures of life before the craziness this week.

As I put Austin to bed the last night in G'ville, he begged me to lay down and sing to him. I sang a few standard bedtime songs and got ready to leave.

"Momma," Austin pleaded. "You haven't sung the lost and found song yet."

"Lost and found song???" I replied. "Austin, I have no idea what in the world you are talking about."

"Mom, you know. The lost and found song. It is one of your favorites."

I thought hard and sudden realization came to me.

"Oh, of course, buddy. You are right. I haven't sung the lost and found song yet."

Amazing Grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost
but now am found
was blind but now I see...

Someday soon, I pray that we will all see clearly through the midst of today's trials. Right now we only see dimly... someday we shall see face to face!

Happy Birthday, Uncle Adam!

2010-03-13T17:40:00.000-08:00

A few days ago, the "Bugg" children and grandchildren gathered to celebrate my brother, Adam's, 29th birthday!

Adam,

I am honored to be your "big" sister. I love spending time with you, Sharon, and Avery. I am so glad to be back in Florida. You remind me so much of Dad through your humor and decision making. You always seem to be able to look at a situation with wisdom rather than emotion - bringing a sense of reality to the world's drama. You handle yourself with dignity even in the midst of difficult situations. Thank you for being so loyal as a son to mom and dad during these days of dad's hospitalization. As their only son, I know that they are looking to you in new ways to help care for dad that are difficult. You have risen to the challenge and you have wisdom beyond your 29 years.

I know that it was not always (if ever) easy to have two older sisters. Jenny and I were occasionally mean (i.e. giving you the number for the weather station rather than for mom and dad while we were babysitting you). However, I think that you repaid me well the time you lit fireworks in the bathroom while I was babysitting! In the midst of being dressed up in our play clothes and forced to act in our childhood plays, you grew up to be a man, and you stand with strength in the midst of great trial.

Even as a young boy, you were able to connect with other children in a rare and special way. We always wanted you to help when we had nursery duty at church. Younger children loved your playfulness and laugh. Your nephews are testimony to your unique ability to still connect with children. Austin and Andrew both love you (and your Wii). You are an amazing father, and I am so excited to watch as Avery grows into a young woman.

I love having a brother who understands my random quotes from "Friends" and shares so many mutual memories. I will never forget holding fireplace pokers in our laps in Colorado in case we were burglarized... or the time you sat on the floor of the car during a long drive (I am so sorry about that)!!!

I once wrote a nice blog post about our sister, Jenny. You called her to ask her if "she was dying" - due to the tribute I posted. I just think that occasionally it is nice to write down the things that we are never quite able to put into words. And I am honored to be your "big" sister. I love you. Happy Birthday!

Megan is ready to start eating food! In this photo, she is staring down Austin's chocolate cupcake!

Painting with Messy Hair

2010-03-07T14:25:00.000-08:00

We have spent our "sick days" walking around in pajamas.

Painting pictures for Grandpa's hospital room

And not worrying one bit about things like combing our hair!

We hope that you are having a wonderful weekend as well:)

*** Austin's "work room" in these pictures is my mom's laundry room. Yes, she painted the walls! It is inspiring and beautiful. I am hoping that it will encourage Austin to keep painting!

And the stack of books in the background is my mess! Books that have yet to find a new home after our Texas move!

Not Forever!

2010-03-05T09:55:00.000-08:00

It was a typical morning in the third grade. I was busy planning my Friday Show and Tell and learning my multiplication tables. I sat next to a friend named Angela, and on this particular third grade morning, I noticed that Angela kept looking at her arms.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as I leaned across the row to her desk.

“I am making sure that I don’t have Fifth Disease.” She responded very seriously.

“Fifth Disease??? What is fifth disease?” I whispered while our teacher continued the fours tables.

“It is a very serious disease. You get a rash all over your arms and they will kick you out of school… forever.” Angela dramatically replied.

I remember this day in third grade so vividly because all of my friends and I spent our entire outside playground time studying ever single red bump on our arms. Could we have fifth disease – the dreaded disease that would cause us to get kicked out of school… forever?

I am pleased to report that none of us were diagnosed that day and life in third grade continued as normal.

Fast forward approximately 25 years.

Two days ago I noticed that Austin’s cheeks were a little flushed. By last night, his face looked inflamed and a bright red rash was starting to spread down his arms. I immediately began “googling” the words “rash on toddlers cheeks.”

The first words on the screen took my breath away. “Fifth Disease!”

I immediately became an insecure eight-year-old once again. “Oh no! He is going to be very sick and kicked out of school… forever!”

After a trip to our pediatrician this morning, I am sad to report that Austin does indeed have Fifth disease, but am happy to report that he is completely fine.

In a few days (possibly weeks) the rash should completely disappear, Austin has no other symptoms and isn’t even itchy. And in my humble opinion, he is rather enjoying the extra attention and popsicles mommy is allowing.

We still might be a little contagious, so we will stay around the house for now… but I promise… not forever!

Team USA

2010-03-01T15:33:00.000-08:00

Several days ago, Austin woke up and said,

"Mom, you know how my cousin is going to be a professional t-ball player when he grows up?"

"Yes, sweetheart." I replied with a big grin.

"Well, I have decided that when I grow up, I want to be a professional hockey player... for Team USA!"

So, a few days ago, we met several friends at the ice-skating rink for some practice.

Austin, Averi, and Andrew

Aunt Sharon completing a spin

Sweet Averi enjoying the ice

Go, Andrew, Go!

Watch out, Canada, Austin is coming... (and hopefully he won't be holding his mommy's hand when you meet!)

Austin and Mommy

BTW: Thanks to Aunt Jenny - who had her hands fulls while we all skated!

Grandpa's Five Star Hotel

2010-02-27T06:34:00.000-08:00

I just posted an update on my dad's blog and wanted to go ahead and include it here as well.

I was able to visit Dad last night for a few minutes after his bone marrow transplant. He was doing very well (considering all that his body had been through that day)! I took my three-year-old son, Austin, to the hospital for the first time tonight. Since children are not allowed near Dad's room, Austin stayed in the family lounge with Grandma while I visited Grandpa.

As we walked into the family lounge, Austin immediately noticed a game of checkers on the table and a huge t.v. on the wall. Can we watch t.v.? Austin asked Grandma as soon as she walked in the room. "Of course," Grandma said. After my short visit with my Dad, I went to pick up Austin in the family lounge and noticed his tongue was a surprising shade of green.

"Grandma and I found a green ice pop in the freezer!" Austin told me elated.

On the way down to the main lobby, I allowed Austin to push all of the elevator buttons. As we walked out into the parking garage, Austin looked up at me, "Mom, this is an awesome hotel that Grandpa is staying in!"

So, dad, although you might not think so at times, the combination of checkers, t.v., green ice pops and elevator buttons has Austin rating your "hotel" with five stars!

We love you!

Here are some pictures of Dad in his five star hotel.

Adam, Dad, and Emily on Dad's "rest day"

Mom's "suite" for the next three weeks

Dad holding his special gift from Sharon (Adam's wife)

Speed Boats - Part 2

2010-02-24T14:45:00.000-08:00

Continued...

As we looked at the speed boats from afar, Austin had trouble containing his excitement. "Look at those boats, dad!" He exclaimed with pure joy. As James filled out the paperwork, Austin ran over to the life vests. "Mom, hurry, I need a life jacket!" He yelled.

With life vests safely buckled, Austin walked up to the speed boat instructor. "Do these boats go fast or slow?" He asked with all seriousness. "Um..." I could tell that the instructor was hesitating. "Both." (Safe answer, instructor man. Safe answer.)

Austin, however, was not done with his questioning. "Are these boats loud or soft?" And before the instructor man could give another safe answer to my son, "Mr. Start the engines of the speed boats" decided to show off a little and rev the engines for the small speed boat my son would be riding.

(Not a good response, "Mr. Start the engines of the speed boat man." Not a good response at all.)

After hearing the roar of the engine, Austin decided that speed boat riding was no longer for him. He burst into tears and ran up the boat ramp back towards my arms. "I Don't Want To Ride Those Boats Anymore!" He stated firmly. "I don't want to ride!"

"It's okay, Austin." James and I both tried to explain. "You don't have to go fast. Daddy is a safe driver. If you don't like it you can come right back."

Austin just stood there crying. "I don't want to go!"

I looked at James. "I know that he is going to love it if he will just go." I sadly replied. "He is going to have so much fun. How do we convince him that it's okay?"

We finally convinced Austin to just sit in the boat - then, just take a picture in the boat, then, just feel what it is like to go slow in the boat.

Before he knew it, James floated away from the boat dock and out into the lake. Austin looked up with huge tear filled eyes. "Daddy, this isn't bad at all!" He exclaimed.

As they finished their tour of the lake and came back to the dock, I saw Austin grinning from ear to ear. "Mom, I saw the D*sney Castle, and we went by a hotel, and we went out and saw other boats, and we went over a wake, and we went bump, bump, bump, and it was so much fun."

As we took off our life vests, Austin looked at me, "Mom, can we do that again sometime?"

------

I feel like I have been introduced to the speed boats this year. I have been presented with some life issues and my first response is to ask God. "Okay, Lord, is this ride going to be fast (scary) or slow and calm?"

And I know his response. "Both."

I find out news and I want to know all the answers. I want to be assured of my safety before making any decisions about joining in on this ride. Suddenly in the background, I hear the roar of the engine, and I suddenly realize that the ride is going to be loud. Scary at times. Wild. Not even necessarily safe.

"I don't want to ride anymore!" I cry - and I try to run back to the safety of what life used to look like.

And I know his response. "You are going to understand after you finish the ride. You are going to see beautiful sights, but you have to step on in order to ride. You have to trust me. I know what is best for you. I want you to enjoy this journey of life - I want you to live life to the full. At times it will be rough and at other times smooth. But you will come back to the dock - someday - with understanding.

At this moment, right now, I am just stepping into the boat. Trusting the driver.

Thoughts as my Dad starts Chemo...

2010-02-24T09:13:00.000-08:00

If I inherited anything from my father, it is the great love of books. Shortly after my brother, Adam, left for college; mom turned his old bedroom into a home office for dad. A true library. I always loved coming home for trips and just staring at the bookshelves. What should I read this trip? I would wonder as I stood in front of the huge bookshelves covering every wall. Now that I am living at home, I have the advantage of Dad's library close at hand at all times.

My favorite part of Dad's library, however, is the personal touches added to each and every book. As I child, I remember dad always "turning in early" to go to his room and read. As I grew, I would continue to find him in bed with a book, ruler, and pen on his lap. As dad finds passages in books that are memorable, he uses a ruler to very carefully and perfectly underline the page. Now as an adult, I find these markings precious insights into my dad's heart. As I read an underlined passage, I wonder why it stood out to my father - and I find myself drawn to read all the underlined passages first.

This morning, I picked up dad's copy of "The Holiness of God" by R.C. Sproul. I am savoring both Sproul's insights and my dad's underlining. The book is adding so much to my current study of Isaiah.

"What set a prophet of Israel apart from all other men was the sacred auspices of his call. His call was not from men. He could not apply for the job. He had to be selected - chosen directly and immediately by God. And the call was sovereign; it could not be refused." - Sproul

I feel like much of my life has been "chosen by God" as of late - definitely not chosen by me! In my own life, I am struggling with the call of holiness even in the midst of personal pain.

My dad entered the hospital yesterday for chemotherapy. Over the next three days, he will receive six months worth of chemo to take his body to nothing. He will have the bone marrow transplant on Friday. Did he sign up for cancer? Absolutely not. Yet again, God in His sovereignty allowed this to happen to dad at this time. John Piper wrote an article (shortly after his own cancer diagnosis) called "Don't waste your cancer." I have heard Dad repeatedly mention this phrase to his friends during long phone calls. "I believe that God has lessons for me to learn only through cancer." I will hear Dad say. "I don't want to waste my cancer. There are lessons I will learn only through this process."

What sets us apart from all other men (and women) is our call. Our specific life circumstances that cannot be changed - or chosen - or refused. The only thing that we control is our response - will we allow our calling to change us - to become more holy?

We join you, God, in our desire to become like you... Holy... but we would also love for this process to be as pain-free and quick as possible! (Can you tell that I am still completely human while striving to be Christ-like?)

Speed Boats - Part 1

2010-02-22T16:11:00.000-08:00

This past weekend; James, Austin and I had a wonderful time in the Orlando area. On Saturday, I met the entire, extended Q clan at the Mt. Dora flea market. Immediately after locking my camera in the trunk and walking to the entrance, I realized that I had made a huge mistake. I have no photo evidence of our trip to one of the largest flea markets in America. Wow! I would have had some great pictures! Just imagine Austin and I sipping on lemonade walking among hundreds of aisles of antiques and "special" finds! Even though we didn't buy anything, we had a wonderful family weekend and I cannot wait to go back next year for some awesome photos!

We spent the night at a fun Orlando resort and woke up Sunday morning eager to spend the day together. Austin (as a result of television marketing called commercials) was determined to see Rainforest Cafe, Orlando! Thank you for advertising on Nick Jr. and Sprout. My son was determined that the Rainforest cafe would be filled with toys and treats - especially for him.

What the rainforest cafe did not consider, however, was my son's aversion to any loud noise - as soon as the thunder began - Austin made a bee line for the door. Although we spent a total of 23 seconds within the (very well-advertised) restaurant, these were the first words out of my son's mouth when we dropped him off at preschool this morning,

"Mrs. Songingbird (a close representation of our preschool director's real name - and the term Austin calls her), I GOT TO GO TO THE RAINFOREST CAFE THIS WEEKEND!"

Well done, marketing department. Well done. My son was thrilled over his 23 seconds of time in your restaurant!

After leaving Downtown Disney, James and I decided to spend the day touring D*sney for free. We rode the monorail, the ferry boats, the buses... toured hotels, walked the boardwalk - and thoroughly enjoyed our day! On our honeymoon (almost seven years ago!) James and I rented a small speed boat from the Grand Florid*an Hotel. This is by far one of our favorite honeymoon memories. We decided that it was time for Austin to experience the speed boats.

To Be Continued...

Very Full!

2010-02-21T17:43:00.001-08:00

We have had a very full... very fun... family-filled weekend.

That I cannot wait to tell you all about.

But for now, this little one and I need to go to bed early!

Best Friends

2010-02-16T13:33:00.000-08:00

Austin (3) and Andrew (4) are not only cousins, they are very best friends. Last week, Austin and I spent a week out of town. Every day, Austin asked, "Mom, when are we going back to see Andrew?" On Friday, they saw each other for the first time (in a week) at school! Austin was jumping up and down. Andrew ran to his classroom door.

"Are you coming over today?" Andrew asked.

"Sure!" Austin exclaimed, "Or you can come over to my house!"

"Okay!!!" shouted Andrew. "Well, I'll see you soon on the playground!"

The school director says that Austin and Andrew play together every day on the playground - waiting for each other - looking out for one another - just being boys... together.

Yesterday, since it was a school holiday, I decided to take the boys somewhere fun. They chose putt putt golfing.

As they sat on a bench waiting for their turn (the place was packed for President's Day!), the years flashed before my eyes and suddenly I pictured them as little 80 year old men playing golf together.

Perhaps my dad's upcoming bone marrow transplant (Feb. 23) is making me way too nostalgic... but can't you just picture them... eighty years from now - sitting on the bench... holding their golf clubs.

So, Austin, how is that golf swing today?

Oh... just fine... how about yours?

Good... Good. After golf - do you want to grab lunch?

Sure, your house or mine?

Love. Valentine's Day 2010.

2010-02-15T13:10:00.000-08:00

Love is patient

Love is kind

Love does not envy, Love does not boast. Love is not proud.

Love is not rude. It is not self-seeking.

Love is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil. Love rejoices in the truth.

Love always protects. Always trusts. Always hopes. Always perseveres.

Love never fails.

I am so grateful for such precious reminders of love this Valentine's Day, 2010!

The Best of Times

2010-02-12T12:13:00.000-08:00

There is nothing in the world like family.

My dad and his brother, Chuck.

(Austin, Uncle Chuck, my cousin, David, Aunt Diane, and Andrew)

(Megan and Sharon)

(Andrew and my dad having an important discussion - probably about t-ball)

(and Dad seems surprised by the news!)

I think that my favorite moments happen in our living room as we all sit around holding new babies, listening to Andrew and Austin, and just being together. There is nothing like family.

To Cheer Us Up

2010-02-03T09:22:00.000-08:00

It has been a busy week at the Bugg house!

My sister and I have been helping my dad update his blog on a daily basis - which I enjoy to no end! Dad, you are very clever and very good at updating daily! So, if you aren't finding enough updates on this site - make sure you visit my dad at www.bobbugg.blogspot.com.

We had a wonderful visit with my Uncle Chuck, Aunt Diane, and cousin, David. I have pictures to share with you soon that are on my camera! A visit with this "Bugg" side of the family always includes great food and even better conversation. We always sit around the living room listening to stories and laughing until we cry. This trip, however, also included a three-year-old and a four-year-old flying around the house on bicycles (yes, Grandma lets the boys ride their bikes in the house!) and two three month old baby girls! We are outgrowing my mom's living room!!!

My uncle has a new book on leadership hitting the shelves soon and my aunt never ceases to amaze me with her listening ear and kind heart. I am honored to be their niece. On Monday, as I picked the boys up from school, I explained to the boys that our company had to leave. "Oh, no!" Austin cried from the backseat. "That is the saddest thing I have heard all day!"

I agree, Austin!

So, to cheer us both up - here is a picture that I found while perusing my computer this afternoon that brought a huge smile to my face!

Austin in February two years ago!

Absolutely Still???

2010-01-29T06:50:00.000-08:00

What has my active three year old standing absolutely still?

mesmerized...

completely enthralled?

His uncle Adam introduced him to... the Wii.

Precious Moments in Our Family

2010-01-27T17:32:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, we celebrated a wonderful family day at the baptism of my sweet niece, Avery.

My brother and his wife attend a Lutheran church close to their home and asked both sides of the family to join them on their important day. From the moment we entered the doors of the church, the people opened their arms to greet our family. From the music to the liturgy to the baptism service itself, the entire day was a precious time for our family to spend together.

Avery Grace is our "miracle girl," and we are honored to stand by her parents as they raise her. We desire to be a help, a constant source of support, anything you need at a moment's notice. In short, we desire to be what God created us to be ... family.

Perhaps at no other time has my family understood what it means to support, to love, to stand by each other's side. What a precious time to welcome Avery to our family.

-------

In other news, my dad has a blog! Can you believe it??? Well, actually, Jenny and I convinced him that he needed a blog during this time of his life. He is recording his journey to cancer at

"A Cheerful Heart is Good Medicine"

Please click on the link above and leave my dad a comment. I know that your words are so encouraging to him during this time. He is so deeply loved by all of his family!

The Wardrobes

2010-01-25T12:19:00.000-08:00

I ran by CVS this morning to have some pictures developed. About an hour later my sister went to pick them up. "Oh, I have been waiting for you!" the photo assistant cheerfully said when she saw my sister. "Your last name is Q___, right?" My sister just stared at her. She was so pleased with herself for having remembered my face. "you have a great memory," my sister said. "But that was actually my sister you met earlier today.

Such is the life of being 18 months apart from your big sister.

Yesterday, we had a precious day celebrating the baptism of my niece, Avery. I had my outfit not only picked out - but on my body. A cute little dress I bought several months ago. As I walked out the door, I yelled to my parents, "give me one minute, my dress feels a little short. I am going to throw on pants." As I saw my sister walk into the church an hour later I shook my head in disbelief. It was a good thing I changed, for in walked my sister in the exact same dress I had on only an hour earlier. We would have looked like 32 year old twins. Awesome.

Such is the life of being 18 months younger than your big sister.

Jenny and I also share a photo account right now. It just makes sense for us because our children are normally together and the pictures reflect them all. Imagine my delight when I opened my photo account online this morning and found...

and this

and this...

Please, dear Lord, if I have another child, let it be a girl. After all, someone needs to inherit this precious girl's wardrobe.

I think it is only fitting for me to be the recipient. There are some benefits to being only 18 months younger than your big sister.

My Boy

2010-01-23T19:01:00.000-08:00

No words needed... I love this little one!

2010-01-21T06:43:00.000-08:00

Have I mentioned Austin's new favorite past time yet?

If not, it is only because I am circling the block trying to keep up with my son...

After one day on the bike he looked at me and said, "Okay, mom... I am ready to take off these training wheels. Let's get moving!" I was able to convince him that we needed the training wheels just a little bit longer until he is a little more stable.

So, come rain or shine, my boy will be riding. Thank goodness Grandma has hardwood floors and doesn't mind us riding through the kitchen!

*** Disclaimer... we do use a bike helmet when biking outside of the kitchen.

**** Disclaimer #2: These pictures are fuzzy because I cannot get him to sit still long enough on a bike to get a good picture!

Happy Birthday to My Dad!

2010-01-20T17:40:00.000-08:00

There are a few things that we love around this home...

A reason to celebrate! So the first question out of Austin's mouth after opening Christmas presents on Christmas day was... "So, Momma, what's the next holiday?"

He wasn't overly impressed with New Year's. He had been in bed for hours before the proper celebrating took place...

So, he was thrilled to learn that Grandpa's birthday would take place in early January!

Birthday hats? he asked.

Oh yes, I replied.

Cupcakes?

How could I resist?

So, from the youngest in our family...

to the oldest... (that's you, dad!)

We just took some time to celebrate!

The Lord is Gracious

2010-01-19T18:14:00.000-08:00

Going through pictures and I just have to ask...

Is this the cutest little girl that you have ever laid your eyes on?

This is my brother's sweet baby girl

and she is absolute miracle in every sense of the word!

Your aunt is completely smitten, sweet Avery.