The Apple of my Eye

"he guarded him as the apple of his eye." Deuteronomy 32:10

I wonder if Austin will ever know how much I love him. Until I had my own child, I had no idea that this type of love was even possible. Yes, I love my friends, my family, and especially James, but this love is so different... sacrificial, pure, whole, indescribable.

I grew up knowing that I was loved by my parents, but I had no idea... did they love me this much? Do they still? I believe so. Having a child of my own has dramatically changed my own relationship with my parents as I understand their sacrifice and love for me in such a new understanding as a mother.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I remember a song sung regularly in my home...
Daddy loves his little girl
She's the apple of his eye.
Daddy loves her, Daddy loves her
Daddy loves his little girl.

I love the phrase "apple of his eye" because of the rich memories it holds from my own childhood. I want Austin to understand and feel this same type of love - he is the apple of my eye. The most beautiful part of the phrase is that is is Biblical. God uses this phrase twice in Scripture to describe his relationship with mankind.

In Deuteronomy, God uses the phrase to describe his relationship with Jacob - his protection and care over Jacob's life. Zechariah also uses the phrase to describe the nation of Israel - the apple of God's eye.

A friend of mine passed along another blog this weekend - the story of a woman who recently lost her child. I spent the weekend in tears as I read the heartbreak so beautifully expressed in Angie's blog. Last night I pulled Austin into the bed with me after he had fallen asleep in his own crib. I just wanted to lay next to him and watch him sleep. I just wanted to hold him and thank the Lord for his health and safety. I wanted to thank God for being blessed with the gift that is Austin, and I wanted to thank him for a lesson in learning how to love...

Oh, he is the apple of my eye.

"Lord, I cannot begin to express my gratitude that you love us like a father loves his children. Please enable Austin to understand a fraction of the love that his parents, grandparents, and family feel for him."