Thursday, April 14, 2011

What does it feel like to die?

As Austin and I drove home from school today, I asked him about his day. We talked briefly about his friends, the playground, the sand in his shoes, and the spring program scheduled for this evening.

After some quiet moments, Austin asked me a question. "Mom." He said, "What does it feel like to die?"

I paused.

We talk openly about life with Austin. We talk openly about death. We pray nightly for his grandpa who is fighting a very difficult journey with multiple myeloma. I want Austin to always feel comfortable asking us about anything, so I answered as honestly as I could.

"What does it feel like to die?"

"I don't know, Austin." I began. "I don't know what it feels like to die... I think that it probably hurts for just a second and then you don't feel any more pain. I believe in heaven, Austin. So, even if death hurts for just a moment, you will never feel pain again and you will be so happy."

Austin sat quietly in the backseat for a long time.

I wondered if I had said too much.

I wondered if I should have eliminated the word pain from my explanation.

I wondered why he was asking me about death.

"Mom, I don't think death is like that." He began slowly.

"I think that death is more like jumping off a diving board...

You are so scared...

and you don't want to do it...

but once it's over, then you are just so happy,

and you realize that you had nothing to be scared of in the first place."

and then we both just rode in silence.

"What do you think, mom?" Austin asked.

"Do you think that's what it feels like to die?"

I don't know sweet boy, but I do know what it feels like to receive the wisdom of God through my four-year-old son...


Karen said...

ohhhhh my goodness ... there is a whole lot of GOD in that little man of yours. Glad for the wisdom he spoke. And maybe shedding a few tears at how precious that is!

Anonymous said...

Wow! What a smart little guy you have. Actually had a tear and he explains very clear how die feel like. =) Looking forward to see what your second son will be like! =)
Christine Taylor

MommytoAJ3 said...

I needed Austin's wisdom straight from our Daddy today! Thank you for sharing!!!

JOYce Ashley said...

Emily, what wisdom God has placed in this precious little boy of yours! Isn't it wonderful how He uses our children to teach us and bring us comfort along life's difficult paths. Thank you for sharing this beautiful explanation....and I think Austin has it "just right"!

Grete said...

Your sweet son is so wise beyond his years, Emily. I teared up reading his thoughtful response. :)

michellenotdawn said...

Wow...just wow. Read your Dad's blog this morning...praying for all of you.

melissa said...


God is so good! ALL the time! That He spoke His wisdom through your precious little guy is such a sweet reminder of this truth. Just read your dad's blog and am grateful for the update, though not for the news. Love you and your sweet family SO MUCH! Praying for all of you. xo, melissa

SouthAsiaRocks said...

That is AWESOME!!!

Marcelina said...

Hey Emily! I started to blog again! Just hope you are doing well! I am not on facebook anymore, but I hope that at least I can keep up with you this way!

Anonymous said...

Hey Emily- just catching up on your blog. I love reading all you write. I'm glad things are going well. Jenny keeps me updated. Hope you have a restful time before baby arrives. I'm praying for you and all your family.
Jennifer N